till the sun kisses the calm ground
from when the glowing moon enters the world with out a sound
it casts a shadow over my fuzzy, paper heart
feels like youre trending in a lake
i keep trending for my own sake
pondering your strength of driving to the unknown
nothing is in place; the water is now flowing uneven
the body is cold; like its in its own state of grieving
the waving water is no longer transparent
trending is no longer an option; hard to fight the current
trying to get by with just two feet and one mind
where im going my mind might just be in line
the water is drowning me
stay a float is the key
to stay alive in these waters, is what i am to do
these waters are old picture frames but still are new
it frustrates me that this swim was not my choice
my ears are so irritated by the noise
the noise of my own cries
the tears from my own eyes
silent is the way my mind screams
it pushes me deeper into a personal dark space
where the monster is staring at me right in the face
the piercing intense reflection i see in his whites
is when the monster compels me to start a fight
to take those two feet and walk
walk on top of the hurling water
the monster is still down there; my taunter
he finds amuse in my sorrows
like its looks take my smile to borrow
to use my smile as a jumprope
stretch it as far as it can
then plays with it like a child; not a man
it keeps loosing its touch
like a broken car that has been used too much
used so many times with out any meaning
like taking my smile for a joy ride; just for the feeling
then the monster is caught
the punishment i gave was harsh; but i say not
difficult to punish the thing that keeps you alive
difficult to condemn the thing that keeps me in the water to thrive
so here i and my dear monster am
walking on the unclear reflection on the lakes crisps
my useless smile struggling to stay on task
my heart constantly conjures a mask
with my mind still at the end of my destination
the fate of this meaningless walk may take preparation
unforgiving this journey may seem
i am still a girl waiting to gleam
waiting for when the sun will kiss the ground
for when the moon departs without a sound
for when the waters are not a blur
for when this poem is no longer how i have to refer