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How Do You Title Your Past?
I’ll go to a place where memories are the now
Where the pictures displayed on my screen are where I am
Reminding me that I should have stayed
Fought for what I knew in my heart was right, that’s all I know
I never thought that years later, years of experience would tug me back
Down the rabbit hole and back again
Their smiling faces, their lives okay without mine
The tears of regret and longing are the ones that burn the most
Greed is what brings me to this location
Staring mindless as my emotions move my fingers across these keys
All that I know, all that I wish I knew
My childhood wasted
The pressure pushing my chest to pains, ripping my life
My eyes watch as the pictures flash by, all the faces I once knew
I imagine myself there right beside them, sharing their smiles
Though my name buried down, they don’t remember
My childhood wasted away, a tree done fighting for life
My roots are damaged and forgotten, so far down into the earth
I still remember it all, all of it stored with love
He took it, stole it away from me, thrown so far to the abyss of lies
I remember, oh yes I remember
I wish I didn’t remember the happiness and joy I had
Remember the house that was my womb
How I could walk around in the dark and know every step, every blemish
We built it, built a family and a home... a life worth thriving for
I wish I had stayed, all of us stayed where nothing could have broken us
Uncontrollable sobs leaping off my chest and into the atmosphere
An atmosphere I created, an atmosphere shattered into billions of pieces
I envy those of you born and raised in the same house you go at the end of the day
Where each room holds so much love from the past, if only
So I’ll go to a place where memories are the now
Where the pictures displayed on my screen are where I am
Reminding me that I should have stayed
Fought for what I knew in my heart was right, that’s all I know
Where in the other room is a brother, a hero, in walking distance
Where across the hall are parents with an endless array of love
Where downstairs is the sister that doesn’t burn with anger and loneliness
Where all creatures big and small where in every other room
Where a phone call away were the people I grew up with
Where in my chest was a heart not abused and torn apart
Where there is no such thing of not returning through the door I walked out of that morning
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