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1/26/11
You ask me to speak
from my heart
Not from my brain
What I said
was true
But there is more than that
I didn't have time to speak
A sadness
A grief grips me
That I messed up so badly
I could have said no before
I didn't
Now I have to wait
So long
Gain a trust I no longer have
Tears come to my eyes
To finally fall
knowing it was all my fault
You are so much better
Now I can't prove that
It hurts
To the point of physical pain
If I could have you
I would. Instantly
But my curse
Such a burden
I cannot rid myself of
You will leave
I'd never see you again
I don't know
What hurts more
Unable to be
Or knowing if we were
Together
My tears fall slowly
While I write
Releasing a pain
Never gone, always there
I didn't really want you
To know
I know
It was to happen anyway
This saddness will never leave
I could never be
That happy little girl
I used to be
Saying what you did today
Brought a feeling
I haven't had
I can't believe I fell
good enough
for you to love me too
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