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Just Five Minutes

March 26, 2011
By corallee DIAMOND, Newport Coast, California
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corallee DIAMOND, Newport Coast, California
50 articles 0 photos 34 comments
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you loved me last night
huddled for warmth
you said those three words
with a sprinkling of kisses
gone by morning

you loved me last night
shh, let me tell you a secret
hair brushed back by your lingering touch
lips parted, summer breath on my ear
gone by morning

you loved me last night
came back for me, realizations of love set in your eyes
finally!
a ray pees through cracked shutters
clashing and dancing with the shrills of my
alarm clock.
gone by morning

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 6 comments.

JoPepper PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 14 2011 at 4:04 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
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&quot;Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Not all those who wander are lost&quot; --JRR Tolkien<br /> <br /> &quot;When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears.&quot; --Jose&#039; Bergamin

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That was very good. Did you really mean to say "pees"?  Keep writing!!! :D
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 11:33 am
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
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Okay that's what i thought more than the other idea so yeah okay!
corallee DIAMOND said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 11:06 am
corallee DIAMOND, Newport Coast, California
50 articles 0 photos 34 comments
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Thank you :)

The poem basically based on multiple dreams that a girl (ahem or me) has about the guy she loves, but the dreams are always cut too short.

corallee DIAMOND said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 11:03 am
corallee DIAMOND, Newport Coast, California
50 articles 0 photos 34 comments
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HAHAHAHA thank you for catching that. i actually meant "peeks". 

i'm glad you liked this poem, thank you for reading it!

austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 10:14 am
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I really liked this poem!  Especially the "summer breath" part - I'm not sure why :) The only grammatical error I see is that I think you meant "pees" to be "peers" in the last stanza.  Other than that, great job!
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Jul. 27 2011 at 9:26 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
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I really liked this one! But i have one question: Was the person that loved you in a dream? Because at the end when you said that you woke he had disappeared. Or was he real and had snuck out of your room in the middle of the night? Either interpretation is fine really. this poem had a nice flow. Great job.