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Death
Death is the wind
sending a shiver
up your spine
billowing in the 'breeze
always there
Death is a cobra
searching for its
next victim
not caring who it takes
or
who it hurts
Death is a knife
slicing into you
hurting
hoping to take
away
your happiness
and the ones you
love
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This article has 19 comments.
I love the poem, but there is one thing that always bothers me in poems that lack this: punctuation. If you had added punctuation to this poem, it could have easily been a five out of five stars.
Either way, I get the basic idea of the poem. Beautifully written.
heres the thing
Poetry is a hit or miss for me. I don't know how to critique them because I either like them or I don't it seems. Like, I'll read a poem and think "wow that's really boring" or "holy crap this is the coolest thing ever" and someone else will read it and feel differently.
When I read poetry out of a book, it's like going to an art museum. You look at a picture, sometimes you take a long time to admire it, sometimes you just walk away.
This particular poem made me pause and take a minute to look at it. I like it, but I'm into darker and more twisted stuff. For instance, the lyrics of bands like Tool or Alice in Chains.
thanks i'm going to check out som of ur work
Musicispassion
That's a very powerful poem! It's interesting to note that you were inspired by an actual event; pieces based off of real things ususally are the best. Your metaphors were direct and easy to follow, making this poem very easy and fun to read.
Cheers
Finchy
