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A Solitary Flame

July 21, 2011
By Calyps0 GOLD, Bethel, Connecticut
More by this author
Calyps0 GOLD, Bethel, Connecticut
15 articles 12 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is just a word until you find someone who gives it a definition."

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I love you.
How can those words feel like ash in my mouth?
Embers on my tongue
that sinks into my heart
burning
burning
as smoke encompasses
those sugar-coated lies
melting away my last glimmer of hope
compassion thus destroyed
until I’m empty
trembling
cowering in
his wake
finally understanding
that dark abyss
they’ve know to call
loneliness.

© Hailey J., Lake Oswego, OR

The author's comments:
I'm hopelessly in love, but the idea of falling out of it...
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2 comments.

clairexaudrey PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 4 2012 at 7:34 pm
clairexaudrey PLATINUM, Bethel, Connecticut
41 articles 3 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.&quot;<br /> -Elizabeth Kubler Ross

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I think you should find a title that really encompasses the entirety of your message. It could even be one word that by definition means 'loneliness', 'burning', or something else that has to do with fire. I like the idea of solitude in the title but using 'a solitary flame' just sounds a little cliche and not as powerful as your poem.
LaBellaVie SILVER said...
on Jul. 27 2011 at 10:18 pm
LaBellaVie SILVER, Bethel, Connecticut
8 articles 5 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
with every single letter and every single word, there will be a hidden message about a boy who loves a girl

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beautiful!