The War | Teen Ink

The War

August 10, 2011
By daph199 SILVER, Burlington, New Jersey
daph199 SILVER, Burlington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Higher powers sent me a partner,
a young soldier to watch over.
Like the tide, flourishing in the moonlight,
we both grew ... as did the realization
that I am his shepherd... a live-in doctor;
my palm held his little, fragile heart.

Why send ME the newbie?!
Sadly, even I, though the commander,
was new to the field...
Doomed from the start, it then began.
One lost soldier.
Alone. Partner. Alone. End.

The battle was over. As
if reborn, the Sun brightened,
showing off his new spotlight.
However, he revealed no waving flags.
No surprises, after all, the soldier died.
Young, a budding bellflower
crushed under a foot... my foot. I
killed him. And they, from afar,
chastise. Ignorance is bliss.


Hypocrisy! Close-mindedly they spew critique.
It seems, as always, they merely choose to glance at the cover,
never noticing the multiple detailed pages behind it.
Judgment is trash, a hideous hassle.
They seem to have forgotten:
we each have our own war, unique
but equally cruel.
This war belongs to me, the commander.

Pesky! Like rabbits eating away at
the garden you so carefully plotted.
Those thunderous demands, understanding nothing,
have worn out my ears; they’ve surrendered.

Frustrating!
Have they now forgotten my position?!
But wait... did I have a position?
Was I never a commander... is it not my war?
But then... should I take the blame
when the war was never mine?
No... no. It was my battle.

One loss, one young soldier.
The commander remains, as does the war.
Again, Again...
Once. Twice. Three times. Repeat.
....Oh yeah... A war has multiple battles.
...Oh yeah... I brought on this war...

The digital clock keeps changing,
occasionally releasing a beep or two.
But why does the view remain constant?
I watch each sunrise, one after another.
Hughes of pinks amongst the sun:
ruby, magenta, fuchsia...
Same colors, same processes.

The battle’s over.
They gave me a partner, a young soldier to watch over.
My palm held his heart, little and fragile.
One lost soldier.
Yes, my ears wore out, but my mind now knows
I am the commander and this war is mine.
The heart remains, so does the pain, as
I am in war.... constantly, in war.

I do miss him, that soldier I never knew;
but, one battle just leads to the next. This is war.
So prepare the cake, for now I’m coming home.
My home, from my war, my own hero.
Alone. Partner. Alone. End.


The author's comments:
What do you think this poem is about?? I'm curious to see the guesses. I hope you guess correctly!

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 21 comments.


on Feb. 19 2012 at 8:31 pm
never_know_me, Ruskin, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments
I think that it might have something to do with a younger sibling who is very sick, and the older sibling who feels powerless to help trying to save him/her, then trying to deal with his/her death. I might be way off, but that's the impression I got. Whatever the meaning, this is a very good piece, with strong language and great imagery.

on Feb. 19 2012 at 7:31 pm
PeNfReAk10 PLATINUM, Chino Hills, California
22 articles 3 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life hands you lemons, take the seeds and plant them.

I believe that it has to do with something between a force of nature that compels someone to fight against himself. Am i right?

on Feb. 19 2012 at 6:54 pm
Angelgirl39 GOLD, Monument, Colorado
13 articles 5 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
\&quot;I can sum up all I have learned about life in three words: It goes on\&quot;<br /> ~Robert Frost<br /> <br /> \&quot;Those who dream by day are often more aware of things then those who dream only by night\&quot;<br /> ~Edgar Allan Poe

the first thing I thought of was maybe getting forced to watch over a new kid at school or something, but maybe its something like being forced to love someone or like someone you may not like very much? I dunno. Anyways,really great poem.

daph199 SILVER said...
on Feb. 13 2012 at 12:51 am
daph199 SILVER, Burlington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 13 comments
ahh! you got closer than anybody else just by saying one thing!! not telling you what that thing was though ;) glad you liked it!

tealbird said...
on Feb. 12 2012 at 10:27 am
Hmmm...what is this poem about??? At first I thought that this was a poem about maybe love, and the fact that love was a battlefield, but then I was like noooo....then I thought it was about the battle between family, but then you talked about death, so I thought that couldn't be it...I'm stumped! It's really good though!

zuez98 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 9:14 am
zuez98 BRONZE, North Webster, Indiana
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
thank you for writing this

on Jan. 26 2012 at 11:07 pm
nope. but hey. how's this? if enough people comment on this, I will give one crucial hint to help steer readers towards what the actual theme was when I wrote it. however, i LOVE your interpretation of it. keep that. value it. that's exactly what i wanted to accomplish. multiple interpretations of one poem. that's so cool. thanks for being so interested in it! i appreciate it so much :)

zuez98 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 9:41 pm
zuez98 BRONZE, North Webster, Indiana
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
okay i think i got it the war is really goin on inside him and the person hers fighting is himself and he had to sacrifice part of his inner being to be better off in the end

Shmelmo GOLD said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 8:23 pm
Shmelmo GOLD, Elma, Iowa
16 articles 9 photos 143 comments

Favorite Quote:
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

Thanks for the comment on my poem! hmm... I think this poem could have different meanings to different people. To me - this guy was at war with himself. Always second guessing and alone. I really like the way you wrote it - the reader has to think about it to figure out what it means to him/her. Nicely done!

on Jan. 25 2012 at 3:30 pm
nope. the higher powers were only mentioned once. in the very beginning. and they were the ones who sent the "partner". so i leave it up to the reader to decide what "higher powers" means. However, the higher powers are NOT the ones, or is not the person, that is spewing critique. and i know this is a very vague response. but i have a strange way of writing. the way i write is for it to be verrrry vague so it's hard to understand and if you somehow manage to understand what i meant in my poem than you're amazing! but if you can't that's great too because it's meant to be open to interpretation. it's more mysterious that way, you know what i mean? so the "blurred idea" you're getting is what i wanted you to get. it may be frustrating but yup that was my intent :) glad that you liked it despite the confusion!!!

Shivam GOLD said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 1:33 am
Shivam GOLD, Lucknow, Other
19 articles 0 photos 87 comments

Favorite Quote:
Its nothing like nothing or all.. its just that how far you climb up the tree before you fall..

Awesome.........great........but still i got a blurred idea from this, not much clear... well the line.. "Hypocrisy! Close-mindedly they spew critique. It seems, as always, they merely choose to glance at the cover," are you referring here to the higher powers (God)...? pls explain.. and once again it was awesome..!

schristensen said...
on Jan. 24 2012 at 9:14 pm
schristensen, Coden, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
be you not your neighbor

awesome i loved it

daph199 SILVER said...
on Jan. 24 2012 at 9:12 pm
daph199 SILVER, Burlington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 13 comments
i like how you figured out that he goes to war with himself!! but you're still a little off :) thanks for the comment:D

on Jan. 24 2012 at 9:03 pm
artmantist BRONZE, Willemstad, Other
3 articles 0 photos 72 comments
lovely poem, i like ur writing style, i enjoyed it through the whole poem, i like the mystery, kinda hiding things in ur poem, it makes ma think abt so much thngs, very nice

daph199 SILVER said...
on Jan. 24 2012 at 8:48 pm
daph199 SILVER, Burlington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 13 comments
nope!!! but I could see how you came up with that!! I would tell you what it really was, and you would be shocked, but I don't want to give it away for other people who read it later. I'm glad that you liked it though :)

zuez98 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 24 2012 at 8:47 pm
zuez98 BRONZE, North Webster, Indiana
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
and so the man goes at war with himself

zuez98 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 24 2012 at 8:45 pm
zuez98 BRONZE, North Webster, Indiana
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
woah bro thats cool is it about a man who didnt think the newb could make and would het him killed so he killed the newb himself but reall good

daph199 SILVER said...
on Sep. 1 2011 at 7:14 pm
daph199 SILVER, Burlington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 13 comments

ahaha wooops :P

thanks for reading hehe:)


on Sep. 1 2011 at 3:47 pm
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
42 articles 11 photos 333 comments
I have absolutely no idea what this is about, but it is AWESOME! Oh, and "hughes" is really spelled "hues".

on Sep. 1 2011 at 11:57 am
Andrewsgirl SILVER, Filer, Idaho
6 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
The best thing about falling in love is when you can&#039;t go to sleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

This was great!! but sorry i have no guesses. But it was really good.