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I See Her

September 4, 2011
By Steph0804 GOLD, Seoul, Other
More by this author
Steph0804 GOLD, Seoul, Other
12 articles 4 photos 206 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog: you understand it better, but the frog dies in the process." -E.B. White

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I see her

lips,
chapped, dry, bleeding
from the constant torment of her teeth

fingernails
cracked, frail, jagged
ragged flesh tearing off of the quick

hair
limp, thin, colorless
missing in patches from her scalp

eyes
dull, bleak, swollen
giving proof to her lack of sleep

She reaches out
with two shaking hands-


I rip the mirror off the wall.

© Monica L., St. George, UT

The author's comments:
This could be you, me, or the girl next door.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 10 comments.

BluBliss GOLD said...
on Nov. 4 2011 at 1:59 pm
BluBliss GOLD, New York, New York
14 articles 0 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Bella&#039;s love for Edward was like, &quot;Omg. He&#039;s hot. He&#039;s mine because he sparkles. Now I&#039;ll brood the wholle book while I&#039;m with him.&quot;

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I tagged this as a favorite halfway through it. I could never have thought of formatting it so the first sentence served as teh first sentence for each paragraph. (i know close to zip about poetry, so i'm using prose terms, my bad.) And how it makes sense that the whole thing besides the last sentence is in third person, because...well it's a mirror. Good job, this is, like, a masserpiece.
TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes SILVER said...
on Oct. 10 2011 at 6:08 pm
TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes SILVER, Sunnyvale, Texas
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&quot;Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.&quot; <br /> <br /> Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,<br /> &quot;What! You too? I thought I was the only one.&quot;<br /> - C. S. Lewis

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Woah! I'm loving the twist at the end! It really threw me off guard! :) Another brilliant poem by a brilliant writer!
RyanTyler PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 4 2011 at 10:31 am
RyanTyler PLATINUM, Windsor, Connecticut
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&quot;A myth is a religion in which no one no longer believes.&quot; James Feibleman

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Really good. I've been trying to work with a concept like that for awhile and can never get it right, Keep it up
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Oct. 2 2011 at 7:26 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
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Again, I love the twist at the end of your poem!  The imagery in this poem is excellent; I appreciate your descriptiveness.  Excellent work!
JoPepper PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 1 2011 at 10:29 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
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Wow no words!!!! :D
Mystiecub said...
on Sep. 30 2011 at 3:09 pm
Umm...do I know you in real life, or are you somehow able to read people's minds? xD
Great job; this actually sent a chill up my spine. Keep writing, :D This is going on my favorite's list
PaigeStreet PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 26 2011 at 11:32 pm
PaigeStreet PLATINUM, Juneau, Alaska
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Hot dang. This is real potential. In fact, its more than that. its good even as is, potential poetic skill aside. 
Kvothe28 SILVER said...
on Sep. 25 2011 at 9:41 pm
Kvothe28 SILVER, Temecula, California
5 articles 0 photos 78 comments

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Excuse me while I prepare my impromptu remarks. -Winston Churchill<br /> <br /> Tell it like it is, not how it was. -Jonathan<br /> <br /> Break it down like a fine English double-gun. -R. Bitoni

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I thought this was really good, and the ending totally caught me off guard. I hope you keep writing poems.
Steph0804 GOLD said...
on Sep. 16 2011 at 8:06 pm
Steph0804 GOLD, Seoul, Other
12 articles 4 photos 206 comments

Favorite Quote:
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Thank you :D
sunny.all.day. GOLD said...
on Sep. 16 2011 at 2:27 pm
sunny.all.day. GOLD, Potomac, Maryland
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&quot;If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.&quot;<br /> &mdash; A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)<br /> &quot;writing is a struggle against silence&quot; carlos fuentos<br /> You miss 100% of the shots you don&#039;t take.&quot;

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Wow! This is really good!  I love how you had specific adjectives for each part :) and then at the end, it's like a poem of self hatred O_o I think. but it's good! :)