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Loneliness MAG
November 3, 2011
A west wind blows through the night
Kicking plastic bottles through the
empty street.
A thud here and there,
As a young child throws an old
hockey puck
Repeatedly
Against the wall.
Whispers of live and intertwined hands
As two lovers quarrel over a dirty handkerchief.
The dusty paths I travel
Filled with crumpled notes and broken seals.
I envision a world without tumbleweeds
And sky-high walls.
A place where the wind blows free
And no one's ever seen the loneliness
Of an unhinged door.
© Jacob W., Oklahoma City, OK
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This article has 10 comments.
SpringRayyn PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 10 2012 at 4:44 pm
Again, very good imagery! I like the way your poems are written. A lot. your style amazes me and really does make me think of imitating how you write. Your writing takes my breath away and brings smells of what you're describing to me. I can't tell you how in love with them I am right now.
snowleopard100 PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 10 2012 at 2:42 pm
Awesome imagery!! It got a message across with using figurative language and still remaining very clear. I was just a little confused towards the part about the "unhinged door" but otherwise really awesome job man.
snowleopard100 PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 10 2012 at 2:42 pm
Awesome imagery!! It got a message across with using figurative language and still remaining very clear. I was just a little confused towards the part about the "unhinged door" but otherwise really awesome job man.
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD said...
on Apr. 9 2012 at 2:12 pm
Beautiful! jus beautiful :) you have such a way with words
koolkat101love SILVER said...
on Apr. 5 2012 at 7:01 pm
It's beautiful, love the figurative language, fb 4 fb?
eternal_sunshine SILVER said...
on Apr. 5 2012 at 4:37 pm
Beautiful, I really really love this one. Your description gives such a fresh outlook on something classic. Love the line "As two lovers quarrell over a dirty handkerchief". Beautiful.
HoldingFast GOLD said...
on Dec. 19 2011 at 9:29 am
Yeah that's suppose to be life typo XP
Cody_Goelz PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 19 2011 at 8:47 am
this is really good but i think you should have put life instead of live or is that what you ment to do
applesauceHater SILVER said...
on Dec. 8 2011 at 10:13 pm
oh:)this is really good:)see that red checkmark thing. i think that means an editor thinks so too:)just in case you didnt know!and you defenatly live up to that checkmark because this is great!loved it
20 articles 3 photos 23 comments
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