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Loneliness MAG

November 3, 2011
By HoldingFast GOLD, Plano, Texas
More by this author
HoldingFast GOLD, Plano, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If I wasn't meant to fly, I wouldn't have these wings"

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A west wind blows through the night
Kicking plastic bottles through the
empty street.
A thud here and there,
As a young child throws an old
hockey puck
Repeatedly
Against the wall.
Whispers of live and intertwined hands
As two lovers quarrel over a dirty handkerchief.
The dusty paths I travel
Filled with crumpled notes and broken seals.
I envision a world without tumbleweeds
And sky-high walls.
A place where the wind blows free
And no one's ever seen the loneliness
Of an unhinged door.

© Jacob W., Oklahoma City, OK

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 10 comments.

gb12197 PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 10 2012 at 9:25 pm
gb12197 PLATINUM, Bridgeport, Pennsylvania
20 articles 3 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;next time you feel like a failure, think about how you are alive, and you have the opportunity to be successful.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;i don&#039;t have an attitude, i have a personality you can&#039;t handle&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;i am weird&quot;

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you are really good with imagery. this poem is so different, its not like anything i have ever read before. great poem :)
SpringRayyn PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 10 2012 at 4:44 pm
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 658 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Don&#039;t punish yourself,&quot; she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing.&quot;<br /> --Markus Zusak, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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Again, very good imagery! I like the way your poems are written. A lot. your style amazes me and really does make me think of imitating how you write. Your writing takes my breath away and brings smells of what you're describing to me. I can't tell you how in love with them I am right now.
snowleopard100 PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 10 2012 at 2:42 pm
snowleopard100 PLATINUM, New York City, New York
33 articles 1 photo 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, but I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.&quot;

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Awesome imagery!! It got a message across with using figurative language and still remaining very clear. I was just a little confused towards the part about the "unhinged door" but otherwise really awesome job man.
snowleopard100 PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 10 2012 at 2:42 pm
snowleopard100 PLATINUM, New York City, New York
33 articles 1 photo 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, but I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.&quot;

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Awesome imagery!! It got a message across with using figurative language and still remaining very clear. I was just a little confused towards the part about the "unhinged door" but otherwise really awesome job man.
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD said...
on Apr. 9 2012 at 2:12 pm
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD, Roseville, California
17 articles 1 photo 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
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Beautiful! jus beautiful :) you have such a way with words
koolkat101love SILVER said...
on Apr. 5 2012 at 7:01 pm
koolkat101love SILVER, Palm Bay, Florida
7 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.&quot;

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It's beautiful, love the figurative language, fb 4 fb?

 

eternal_sunshine SILVER said...
on Apr. 5 2012 at 4:37 pm
eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;<br /> Weep, and you weep alone.<br /> For the sad old earth must borrow it&#039;s mirth,<br /> But has trouble enough of its own.

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Beautiful, I really really love this one. Your description gives such a fresh outlook on something classic. Love the line "As two lovers quarrell over a dirty handkerchief". Beautiful.
HoldingFast GOLD said...
on Dec. 19 2011 at 9:29 am
HoldingFast GOLD, Plano, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If I wasn&#039;t meant to fly, I wouldn&#039;t have these wings&quot;

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Yeah that's suppose to be life typo XP
Cody_Goelz PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 19 2011 at 8:47 am
Cody_Goelz PLATINUM, Fort Wayne, Indiana
25 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
Only God Can Judge Me<br /> 2pac Amaru Shakur<br /> <br /> life goes on<br /> 2pac Amaru Shakur

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this is really good but i think you should have put life instead of live or is that what you ment to do
applesauceHater SILVER said...
on Dec. 8 2011 at 10:13 pm
applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments
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oh:)this is really good:)see that red checkmark thing. i think that means an editor thinks so too:)just in case you didnt know!and you defenatly live up to that checkmark because this is great!loved it