My tears well up in my soul,
so incredibly full,
drowning my lungs and pouring out at the bones,
continuing through my body until my throat is full.
My heavy burdened back begins to break,
snapping at the bottom of my spine,
and slowly cracking, up to my skull,
causing my brain to ache and throb hard
against my forehead.
I begin to drift as my mind
melts,
and my
eyes
bleed.

I do not long to know who breaks my wrists
twirling my hands in and out of each other
looking more like deformed clay.
I do not desire to know who crumbles my ankles
making my feet give out
leaving me to fall onto cold ground with nothing
to catch myself.

I would not like to know what I do to myself,
or acknowledge what I know at all.
I don’t want to think that it’s me, scratching my chest
making myself bleed,
I don’t want to believe that its I
who destroys myself
and rips out their eyes.
So I continue to beat myself
crying, pounding the earth with my fists.

When I find the energy to stand up,
I will.
For now I will lay, bones broke,
body mangled,
until I find a way
to crawl away
from my own horrific hands.