Why is it that at the end of every romantic comedy,
The guy gets the girl?
It sends out this awful, false message that if you
Just try hard enough,
If you can just feel strongly enough about someone,
Your love will be requited.

Can you give me one mainstream film, just one please,
Where the guy "loves" the girl, right?
And he stands outside her window for a whole summer everyday,
Hoping she will be moved by his dedication.
One day on the third week,
She finally talks to him!
And he picks her flowers and helps her sneak out,
And they have this long, drawn out
Conversation about Sean Connery and how he sucked as James Bond in that third movie,
And John Lennon was the best Beatle, by far. 'Hey Jude' was a masterpiece.
This we can agree on.
So the guy's feeling confident, right?
On the last day of the summer,
He leans in for the kiss at the perfect moment.
The sap music's playing and there are cliche firecrackers going off.
But then the girl's all like,
"Oh, Peter! I'm so sorry. I don't think of you like that. Let's just be friends."

Ah, but that's not what the people want to see.
No one wants to pay seven dollars and fifty cents
To relive the drudgery of real life.
So we offer up a small fortune over the course of our lives
To buy greasy, buttered popcorn, lounge in cheap, dirty chairs,
And stare at a huge screen which showcases an
Approximately one hour and forty minute long LIE!

Now, I'm not a cynic.
I'm just trying to think like a scientist.
So here's my hypothesis:
The reason there are so many different depictions of "love"
in art, music, and film is that,
No one can pin it down.
It's immaterial, mysterious, and often doesn't last long.
And you know what they say about temporary, intangible things
If you can't touch it, it's not....(shh)

So, I don't believe in love.
I believe in an emotional passing.
A death of logic and good reason.
Which results in one of two afterlives:
The most blissful heaven.
Or the fieriest, most painful hell.

As far as I can tell,
Despite my bitterness,
My heart still beats between the punches.
I guess that means I'm in purgatory.