Where did I go wrong?

With the movement of the eyes in my head
And the flutters of the lashes surrounding them
And the chips on my fingernails
And the dimple in my upturned chin

And the goodbye waves of yellowed leaves
And the way the sky turns orange before an autumn eve
A muted thudding yell from miles away
A lonely bike in a pile of nature’s dead skin

My shivers sending trembles throughout my chewed sleeves
My tangible breath curling around my pinkish face
That squirrel quickly talking to the rotting remains of its summer home
That unknown rustle in the labyrinth of tree arms up above me

That child who just tripped and fell and got back up with not a tear
That dad who watches from a car far too broken to give him hope
The mother who holds three green coats and a hat in blue hands
The wisp of paper that slips from her pocket and tumbles down an asphalt hill

Those quavering seconds that pass between decision and indecision and back
Those streams of glorious red warmth running to my head with bent knees and a bent back
The blue veins pulsing beneath my frozen unsure hand
That piece of paper full of grief and night

Those fifty-three shaky letters that change countless lives in a restless future
We’re broke Louise.
We have to be out in two days.
What do we tell them?

Where did I go wrong?

The world in its beautiful catharsis to a cleansing whitewash
The time of trees and sky and snowflakes and deep, frigid breaths
The days of for once clear footsteps in an uneven rolling white ground
The days that mark the beautiful destruction of all to bring a magnificent rebirth

Where did I go wrong?

These days made for joy and good cheer
These days of two toothed smiles and breathless anticipation
These days of warmth and fireplaces and baking cookies
These days of home

Where did I go wrong?

Because there are three kids
Who will not have a home
And who will not have be reborn
When the rest of the world wakes up