crystals of salt and rain | Teen Ink

crystals of salt and rain

December 13, 2012
By TheSkyOwesMeRain GOLD, Irvine, California
TheSkyOwesMeRain GOLD, Irvine, California
13 articles 1 photo 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments which take your breath away.

You are only as strong as your weakest link.

rain leaves cold wet
flicker green yellow red
street shoe breath let
jacket dark sigh dead

greet glance metal raise
stride smile wave naïve
fading drop still gaze
lone sadness hidden sieve

leaving strut smirk say
“safe shallow not guard”
puddle crossing drench away
hole deep hurt scarred

bright bitter flood feel
wind frost rain air
salt taste lump real
feelings burn sear bare

and years go by with no one there


Empty soda cans scattered over the papery grass;
the aluminum crunches softly as I stop towards the lone gravestone.
The December rain kisses the rock gently, while the last leaves of fall lie
wet and heavy on its surface.
I feel the cold on my skin like a shawl of seclusion, and remember
the days when the boys drove in bestial frenzy across the street, but
no one saw the lone figure standing with her sign raised, or cared
for her sanguine life force bleeding into the leaves –
there is paint on the inscription, false, screaming
and I, the solitary, touch my fingers to the virus
and the salt crystals glitter on the dying grass as I
slowly, gently, trace the words – the rain falls, ceaselessly –
watching them blur before my eyes:
green yellow red…

The author's comments:
Every day at school, I walk past the crossing guard, and I notice that only a small fraction of people actually say "Thank you" to her for helping stop the cars so we can cross the street. This inspired me to write this two-part poem about a crossing guard and a student.

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This article has 8 comments.

Readride123 said...
on May. 6 2013 at 11:20 pm
Readride123, Athens, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Beautiful poem. Very interesting.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Mar. 20 2013 at 4:05 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

I love how you began. You used a method of listing that Walt Whitman uses in his poetry. Then, I love how you changed to a different structure in the end. Beautiful use of words. None of the words were plain or boring but sophisticated and eloquent. 

on Mar. 20 2013 at 6:07 am
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1136 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

Amazing poem, also tells of what an amazing person you are, not just that you care about a crossing guard but enough to write a poem about it, and one ever so beautiful, both section though subtly different connect so well, great poem. The beginning compelled me to go on reading and when it ended I wanted more...

laila_265 GOLD said...
on Feb. 28 2013 at 5:15 pm
laila_265 GOLD, Houston, Texas
12 articles 0 photos 34 comments
Agreed! Love the rhythm. And the way you use language is so beautiful..."I feel the cold on my skin like a shawl of seclusion." Awesome job!!! 

on Feb. 13 2013 at 9:48 am
mattisonteeter GOLD, Los Angeles, California
15 articles 0 photos 54 comments
Brilliant imagery. I loved the chopiness and rythmn to your piece.  Thanks for sharing this!   -Mattison

on Jan. 19 2013 at 7:39 pm
RandomPoet SILVER, Apopka, Florida
9 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get"Forrest Gump
"Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away and going away means for getting"Peterpan

I agree alot with padoodallee on the poem. I got confused at first and thrown off by the choppy words and i after reading more i caught on to it. It is very unique indeed i wasnt expecting a poem like this would be about a crossing guard. A very pleasent and inspiring way to look at it.

on Jan. 17 2013 at 7:57 pm
Padoodallee GOLD, Haven, Kansas
13 articles 0 photos 120 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." -Michelangelou

Very unique and original! I especially like the way you wrote the two different lives in two completely different styles and somehow they connect. The choppy words at the beginning really add emotion even though it isn't clear what all is happening. I was curious the whole way through and enjoyed reading it. Good Job!

so_joy SILVER said...
on Jan. 16 2013 at 10:24 am
so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 722 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you want to see."

Beautfiully written! Great job! Please return the favor and look at my work :)