you were the vodka on my lips,

the reckless impulse, persuading

“stay a little longer, it’s fine”



you were my favorite sweater,

the one that smelled like cologne

no matter how many times washed



you were the whispered secret,

i hid from the world because

you are mine and only mine



you were the phone calls,

screaming, fighting, hanging up,

giving up, calling back, trying again



you were the black tissues

smeared with mascara tears,

after calling me up with news



you were the flowers i threw away

you were the chocolates i never ate

you were the stuffed bear i donated



you were meaningful,

you were promising,

you were hopeful,

you are nothing.