The Cycle | Teen Ink

The Cycle

February 5, 2013
By Anorak SILVER, Canandaigua, New York
Anorak SILVER, Canandaigua, New York
7 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.&rdquo; <br /> - Douglass Adams


Time pushes forward
to bring about new life.
Flowers blossom, leaves are reborn,
from the ashes of their killer.

And like a phoenix,
they rise again.

And soon the sun rises high,
placing beauty under its spotlight,
bearing witness to the birth
of perfection.

Yet as it can be created,
life is siphoned,
fueling its parasitic murderer
with each life claimed
by the merciless reaper.

And when the food is gone,
when those able resist its grasp,
it becomes weaker,
until it lays on its deathbed
among the remains of the slain.

And like a phoenix,
they rise again.

Only to suffer the darkest fate,
the coldest torture,
to suffer with siblings,
to join their mother,
as one.



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This article has 3 comments.


on Mar. 23 2013 at 12:53 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

This was amazing. The imagery was breathtaking! The only criticisms I have—and these are just nitpicking—is that when you say "reborn from the ashes of their killer" and reference the Phoenix right afterwards, it's kind of obvious. Readers aren't that dumb that they don't get what you mean:) so I think you could have transitioned different. You also write about change and time a lot, I think it would be cool if you picked a totally different subject! XD. Don't let these critiques be negative, I'm just trying to help :) 5 stars!!!

Anorak SILVER said...
on Feb. 27 2013 at 9:55 am
Anorak SILVER, Canandaigua, New York
7 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.&rdquo; <br /> - Douglass Adams

Thanks, I appreciate it!

wiljan said...
on Feb. 15 2013 at 10:53 pm
Went to look for more work by this author... hope there is more to come...