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Listen to My Heart
Bare feet sliding across
hardwood floors,
and a tote bag
thrown over my shoulder,
with clothes spilling out
as I crash down the stairs
Voices calling after,
through the window and
out the door,
Mother telling me
my common sense
is slipping between the cracks,
Father saying
I’m making a mistake-
the worst mistake of any kind
His car smells like
cigarettes and cologne,
a smell I’ve grown love
and my bare feet on the
dash board as he drives
away from this old
town
He’s singing
-we’re finally getting away from
this place-
and I feel somewhat
guilty at hearing this,
sitting there in the front
of his car with my bag
behind my head, like
I’m the one who has been
holding him back
But he turns on the radio
-is this Bon Jovi?-a little too loud,
loud enough to drown out
anything I’m worried about
saying and he smiles,
much brighter than the
setting sun in front of us
and I settle into the seat
A few hours later,
after a pit stop
at a local bar and
a pack of stolen
cigarettes,
he tells me his whole plan
-We’ll get married in Vegas,
we’ll start a new life out there,
forget about them-
I realize, there in the
front seat of his musty
car,
that this not what I want
not yet,
and he says we
aren’t too young-not in his
too blue eyes
He turns up the radio
a little louder,
this time however,
I turn it down
and raise my voice
to tell him the things
that about he doesn’t
understand
Our voices
are loud,
his blue eyes are
angry,
like I’ve betrayed him
too far for not
seeing his dreams,
how he knew I was
too young-
sixteen is too young,
I should’ve dropped
you and taken that
Ellie Mae instead-
So I get out of his car-
realizing I’m sick of the
rancid smell-
with my little belongings
and watch him
drive away,
A lump
forms in my throat
and I pull out my
phone, and standing
there on the side
of the highway
in my dirty bare feet,
I dial the number
I know too well
-I’m on the side of
that highway,
please come
get me,
I'm sorry-
A few weeks later,
I walk to the edge of
town, glancing down
the rain scented
streets and I partly
wish he would come
back for me-that he
didn’t mean what he
said about dropping
me for Ellie Mae-
But I realize that
he’s too far,
he has always
been too far,
and with a broken
heart I walk away
from the edge
of town-where
we fell in love
too fast-and back
down these
misty streets
in my worn
out flip-flops
Somehow I know
that he’s not
coming back
and somehow
I know,
I’ll be okay with
that
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