body is slim and trim
as a switch. I keep it that way.
No fat on my stomach or face.
Heaven forbid.

People compliment me all the time.
Boys admire my flat stomach as
well as my breasts. Girls
envy my butt and my long legs.
My
Today I had chai tea, 157 calories.
I have to watch myself, 43
more and I’ll have a bulge in my stomach.
Matt won’t like that, he wouldn’t think I’m sexy.
Lord knows what would happen if I went over
200

When I come home, I run upstairs
and purge the food I consume to
dissuade adults. I hate it. It is corrupting
me, engorging me. I refuse to retain it.

When I used to weigh 141 pounds
back in the 9th grade,
Dad hit me until I dropped
below 120. He made
me realize that
people will hate you
unless you’re ideal

At night I use the treadmill for
7 hours on high, I imagine my screaming
muscles are fat cells, writhing in agony
as they bun. I work constantly,
dreaming of the day the scale ticks below
110

At the end of the month, trembling,
I step on the scale. I close my eyes and
calm my breathing as it reads the cursed
weight in me. I hear a *beep*
I open my eyes.
I scream.
It reads
112