You are quicksand, pulling me in,
-With the secret glances and the flirty smirks,
Your knowing smile is charming, but your lips never utter the words I ache to hear-
So far down, I forget to fight.
But then I am awake again, struggling to reach the surface,
Gasping for air, for light.
The sensations are all too much, but still not enough.
Because I am not special.
I am one of the several victims trapped in your game.
The harder I struggle, the faster I sink.
And the others have already caught on.
They escaped your traps,
Maybe I could, but I do not believe I can.
Every time I start to rise, you pull me back in.
It would be the hardest thing I would have ever done.
To accept that our love will always be one-sided.
To understand that my longing for you will continue to stay unrequited.
Though it is simpler that way,
To wish that my feelings to subside, before ever being discovered.
All I wanted was to be wanted; I wanted to be your first choice,
Not the girl you flirt with when it is convenient.
Now I would only like be free of you, to wash my hands of this heartbreak.
Because what breaks my heart the most,
Is being easy and unwanted,
By the guy who has had everyone.
Everyone but me….
For now, I’ll forget to fight.
I’ll forget to remember that you are taken.
And I will find myself breathing easier
When I find the love that is requited, my own.
If I love myself, and forgive those who do not love me,
Then I will satisfy my quest for love,
When I find it in the most unexpected places.
But, I will not receive it from you.
To accept the truth, is to live it.
I know now, that it was not love that caused my pain.
It was infatuation with the idea of a fate that was not my own.
I am slipping through your quicksand,
Finding myself on solid ground.
I am walking towards the promise land.
Never looking back and leaving without a sound.