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God, Man, and Nature
June 1, 2013
The stars are weeping,
Drops of gold, of molten light
are speeding by
Liquid sunlight, metal moon
cushioned in cottonwool in a box of blue.
How futile humans are!
planes could not get close to the silver crescent
nor manmade light even reflect the warm circle.
And yet, man stood upon the magical orb which lights the world at night,
he made a small glass shape and created more light,
he sailed the dark-blue waters when all was still unknown,
he climbed as high as man can climb upon the highest cone,
he could do it, and still can.
But even so, still even so, however much he try,
He cannot reach, he cannot ape
the Creator of the Sky.
© Allison H., Vancouver, WA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 6 comments.
I like the way you start by describing it 'metal moon cushioned in cottonwool', and move on to muse on mankind :). And yes, i like your rhyming ending. It's not too 'rhymey-dimey' but nice. What i'd like to know is why you weren't paying attention to your lessons!!!! And what's with the name change?
Tamzie W. said...
on Jun. 9 2013 at 10:40 am
I like your imagery at the start, although the liquid sunlight bit had me confused a bit!!! Especially the 'metal moon cushioned in cottonwool in a box of blue'. I tend to prefer rhyming bits to free verse, so for that i like ur ending. It feels a teensy bit moralizing, but the mysterious tone of it kinda overrides that. what i'd really like to know is how come you weren't paying attention to your lessons??? :P
I planned on justifying this poem with at least one comment. Congrats. You have at least two now. I find myself jealous of the poets, or, poem writer if you'd prefer, (there is a difference), who can end a poem completely, someone who can have such an ending as to leave one thinking or....well, what I'm trying to say is that people who can write a smooth ending at all deserve a round of applause. *Round of applause.* & Good job.
Wayward-Stranger BRONZE said...
on Jun. 4 2013 at 2:34 pm
This was so beautiful, so well written....I loved it truly. I loved the way you used imagery, metal moon, box of glue, drops of gold, it all ties in together. I can understand and agree with you 300% in this poem, keep up the good work.
