A shadow lurks in a dark room

I can see you, but I can’t feel you

Every single step I take the shadow follows

Twisting and contorting its way through countless barriers I put up

I try to shake you, but I can’t get rid of you

I can’t seem to run fast enough and block you out no matter how hard I try

And at times I even want you to catch me just to feel your dark twisted warmth

Just to know what it would be like if you would stay and not fade away like you always do

But I digress and fight to push you away because I can’t take it anymore

I can’t bare the pain of disappointment anymore after 14 years

Your warmth used to be pure and good, no matter the imperfections

But now that you don’t own up to your short comings and look to blame your inadequacy on others

I don’t hear you anymore

I don’t feel you anymore

I just can’t accept you no matter what has happened in your life

Because I know we all have the power to make decisions in our lives

And you have chosen yours and I have chosen mine

Now people tell me no one is perfect and I should be grateful

But all it does is just make me more hateful

For you expect me to achieve greatness but the one I’m supposed to emulate

Look to for guidance

Forsakes his responsibility

But hey I appreciate your lingering presence

I appreciate your spiritual and philosophical wisdom… for I can take from that

I can take from your free and innovative spirit and your ability to lead others

Now from all this you might think I sound distasteful or loathsome

But if it weren’t for you and all these experiences I wouldn’t be the young man I am today

And the man I am becoming
For you are my role model and mentor

For you show me what makes a man and what destroys a man

Not only a man but an individual free from the confines of others ideas

A man who thinks for himself

I thank you for all that you have done

And I love you