we can sit here and pretend that everything is normal
that just because the wind blows,
the waves crash
and you're still burning through those packs
in a day
we can pretend that it means we are fine
and for a few hours
it will be
sipping shy shots of cherry vodka
blowing smoke into the sky
admiring the way a deadly thing moves
with such grace

but
the stars are hidden by city lights
the way scars hide under winter sweaters
you scratch and pick at your skin
and
wait
until they fade
they fade
like clouds into the night
they fade
like you and me and all of this
it will end