I remember the sound

Of

Shaking hands,

Course throats,

Red Eyes.

The sound of drums,

Mimicking

My heart

Beating faster with each

Second to pass.

The bitter taste

Of illusion

That made my hands

Into sharp cleavers

And cement trucks.

I remember the darkness,

Clear

And so black

That I went blind;

My heart and mind.

Control was

Ambition

Not Possession,

Where you could easily

Mistake humans for monsters.

Where you could

Cut

Your heart out

On the wrong side

Of the road.

Gold stars turned

Into a new drink,

New drug,

Everything we loved,

Was stuffed down our throats.

And I remember

Counting

Every minute

And every second

That I never remembered.