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You Think
March 9, 2015
You Think
You’re the Only One
Who has ever known Pain
or Sadness
and Death
But You’re wrong.
You judge That Kid
for being rude?
Well,
His dad just died.
You laugh because
That Girl is sad?
Her parents don’t accept Her.
You think
You’re the Only One
Who has problems?
Well you’re Wrong
So get over yourself
and stop judging People
by How they treat you
and for once,
just try to Understand.
You Think
You’re the Only One
But You’re wrong.
But Don’t worry.
We’re all wrong sometimes.
So put Your chin up
and Show Them
They’re not the Only One
© Heather H., Phoenix, AZ
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 8 comments.
The_DoctorDonna PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 31 2015 at 6:42 pm
Haha you should watch an entire episode sometime :) (I would recommend the first of the rebooted series, called rose)
gracefulwaters SILVER said...
on Mar. 31 2015 at 6:11 pm
No problem! (not really a whovian. I've never watched an entire episode, but some of my friends will talk about nothing else, so I know the basics. And maybe a little more than that...)
The_DoctorDonna PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 31 2015 at 9:24 am
Thanks so much for the criticism. As I said to gracefulwaters, I really like getting criticism from other readers :) I never really thought about doing slam poetry, thanks for the idea. Maybe I'll try it :)
The_DoctorDonna PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 31 2015 at 9:22 am
Thank you so much for being honest. Yeah, looking back I guess I got carried away with the capitalization haha. (I was typing on a chromebook and was bored so I was all..."oooh! Capitalization!" lol) Anyway, I really appreciate the constructive criticism. I feel like so many times on this site people comment, but it's all "congrats, you can write!" When I really do want criticism. So thank you. (And by the way if you understand my username, then... whovian?) :)
As with your "Faces From My Past," you do such an incredible job of maintaining consistent tone here, and the twist at the end is fabulous! I am so glad that you wrote this; the tone is somber yet engaging and the message comes across very clearly. Adding to gracefulwaters's comment, I had a feeling as I was reading that this poem should be spoken word rather than capitalized all over the place. I see how you're playing with emphasis, but I think it's a little hard to convey here because you're capitalizing so often that it almost loses its meaning. Have you thought about this as a slam poem rather than just a written one?
gracefulwaters SILVER said...
on Mar. 30 2015 at 10:44 pm
I really liked this poem and how you conveyed a very strong message for the majority of it, and then turned it around at the end. I have to admit, you had me sort of hating the person you described in the beginning, but then the way you changed it made me feel bad for judging someone so quickly. I think it's great that you can do that through your poetry. One thing that I found peculiar is the capitalization. I'm not saying I didn't like it. It made me emphasize certain words while I was reading that added to my understanding of the poem. All I'm saying is that what I thought that conveyed might not be the same thing that you wanted it to convey. But that's writing, isn't it? Sidenote: I was staring at your username for two minutes (because it's late and I'm tired and I should probably sleep), and then all of the sudden, I got it. And it made me really happy. :)
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I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. - Robin Williams