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I have climbed mountains
I have climbed mountains.
I did not look beautiful. I did not look graceful.
But I have climbed mountains all the same.
I have worked hard.
I did not always focus. I did not always make the right decisions.
But I worked hard all the same.
I have looked fear in the face and laughed.
I did not always have the strength to stand. I did not always maintain faith.
But I faced fears all the same.
I am a changed person.
I sometimes miss the person I was. I sometimes cry and curse and cut.
But I am still a changed person.
I am proud of how far I have come.
I sometimes flinch when I look at my scars. I sometimes hate myself for doing certain things.
But I am still proud of the person I have become.
Because despite climbing mountains, working hard and facing my fears,
Despite realising and accepting the changes I have made and being proud of them I will not forget the person I used to be, the one who felt at home, on the ground, in the village overshadowed by that mountain.
I won’t forget the person I used to before I chose to work my a** off.
I won’t forget how I felt when I looked fear in the face that time, or how I cried with anger and terror but managed to laugh at fear itself, even though I doubted everything about myself and this new found strength I pretended to have.
I will not forget.
The harsh truths keep me honest. The memories keep me grounded. The reality keeps me sane and the journey keeps me humble.
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This personal. My illustratred journey. I have come so far in my recovery of borderline personality but there is still a long way to go. To all those suffering with any type of mental illness, there is always a way out i promise. and i do not make promises that i cannot keep.