There is a moment encapsulated within a photograph framed on my dresser

In it, my mother embraces the newborn me

My mother's eyes and smile glow with the joy brought by the birth of her precious child

Every time I look at that photograph, tears leak from my eyes

Burning like acid rain as they tumble down my cheeks

Because I knew my mother never expected that a daughter would destroy her this terribly

She never anticipated that my very existance would hurt her this badly

My mother has sacrificed everything for me

And yet all I am capable of doing is tearing her gentle heart to shreds

My pernicious nature has done nothing but erode her love for me

Everything is my fault and I take full responsibility

I am such a knotted, shattered mess

I expel shards of glass that pierce the hearts of all whom I care about

I am a grenade that explodes in the hands of anyone who tries to help me

And to my mother, I am an atomic weapon

Not only do I inflict pain upon her, but I also alter her DNA so she is no longer the same

This is my doing

And this is why that photograph makes me cry

Because I knew my mother once took pride in calling me her daughter

But now

She does not