Your spiky words
capture my heart
and sever its delicate strings with
the sharp scissor blades of your tongue.
Are they even just?
How am I supposed to know
when I feel like they have become me
and are floating in my sea of thoughts second after second?
Not a day drags on when my ashamed heart
is not punctured by your awful diction.
Fat.
Ugly.
Pimply.
Stupid.
Awkward.
Crazy.
Filthy.
Unworthy.
These words flow in my body like blood in my veins.
They never find a way out, but only hit my nerves
time after time, place after place,
and I feel exhausted, worn out, tired every minute of every day.
I am done trying to defeat the deadly beast,
for it has become me and changed my body and being,
making me feel like I am nothing, but just trash
withering by the populous road.
Maybe I am fat, ugly, pimply, stupid, awkward, crazy, filthy and unworthy.
Maybe it is over.
Maybe my time on earth is finished.

But,

No,
It can't!
I have to stand courageous for the people that love me.
My parents, family, pets, and few friends,
I know that they would hate to see me go
because they love me, and tell me so.
I have barely experienced life!
I have never taken my driver's test,
I have never had a spouse,
and I have never had children
or taken a job doing what pleases me.
My time on earth is now,
and I should be living my own life everyday,
standing up for myself.
I will defeat the beast in all my power
for it is not me.
Only I am me.