There had been an immense subtlety in the way
you left my dim porch after kissing me.
I realize that for you, and for you only, it was a magical moment;
filled with the intimacy that you had been so desperately trying to find.
But the moment that I had felt your dry lips against my neck,
I felt the antagony of not knowing
how to say “no.”

I was afraid
to offend you,
the one and only admirable,
I cannot even sigh in your presence without being shut down
By the ones who know your facade
better than the real you.

I want to understand how you can make one feel
Wanted
and unwanted
within the same day.

I had soaked myself in hot water;
Trying to wash away a memory that was still
Lingering on my skin

Lingering on my skin
The thought of you was still there.
The thought of you was burning holes in my body as if
The thought of you was poison.

Something so harmless
Hurt so bad.
You took advantage
of my vulnerability.

I had revealed myself to you,
becoming an open book.
If I would have known you were going to read
So deeply between the lines;
I would have painted over every single page;
Leaving you no choice but to judge me
by the cover.
Now It’s too late.
You have written a chapter
In a book that does not belong to you.