Pain….systole, diastole…. pain.

My mind is rushing, racing, burning…

The knot tightening, suffocating me….can't breath…..it hurts.

Systole, diastole….yet again….each rush stronger now…

Tunnel vision, closed eyes, rock….back and forth….back and forth.

Shh shh...let it pass...it manifests, a vine around my thoughts- the weed grows

It hurts….being alone. Trapped, by myself….mind over matter….matter over mind

All the same here….the pounding doesnt stop. Systole diastole, make it stop.

Memories…..nightmares….too often they visit.

Stuck in a customized hell….doubt and fear my closest companions….too strong to cry, to weak to handle it…

I lay paralyzed in my emery board bed….stuck inside my own pretty little head...