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Why I Ran
Why I ran from my mother
Because sometimes it scares me how much we have in common
Sometimes she scares me
Because my feet wanted to feel freedom
I didn’t want her to watch me cry
To see the pain she caused
Because she wouldn’t realize
What she did even if she did see me
The real me…. The real scars
Why I ran from my father’s grave
I was scared I would
fall in
I was scared
I was supposed to go with him
Because sometimes I wish it was me instead of him
Because I would have rather my sister knew him
Then having to live my life without her
I was scared I would make his same mistake
Why I ran from the hospital
Because why not?
Because I’d rather die than hear someone say
“What was it this time?”
Like one specific thing made me want to die
Like I wasn’t strong and didn’t fight so hard for a year and a half
But that doesn’t mean a thing
Why I ran from him
Because I didn’t want to give him the chance to explain
To make me want to stay again
Because I was tired
Tired of the fighting and the lying
Tired of trying to literally kill each other
Why I ran from the mirror
Because I didn’t like the skeleton I became
Feeling
Down
My
Ribs
Being able to count each and every one
And even though you can’t see the scars
If you run your fingers over the spots
You’ll feel the raised skin
Why I ran
Because I didn’t want to fight
Because pain was overrated
Because I wanted to be free
Because once I started running…..
I couldn’t stop
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