The monster under my bed really likes donuts
I mean he will eat an entire box of dunkin’
And on saturday mornings, he asks for his usual
A plain waffle and black coffee
Says it’s not easy to stay awake when you are always in the dark

The monster under my bed doesn’t sleep
Instead, at night when I am asleep,
He slithers out from underneath my bed
To stargaze underneath the glow in the dark star stickers on my ceiling
I know this because I have seen it, eyes half closed in a quiescent room
Detached from space and time

The monster under my bed wears a purple and cream striped tie
It is slightly small for him and hangs significantly above his belt
It rather looks like a crumpled, thin strip of cloth
Than a tie
If I remember correctly, he bought it from walmart, on sale 20% off
You’d be surprised what you can find at walmart, he says

The monster under my bed loves halloween
Last year for instance, he dressed up as the babadook
In a black top hat and cape, both from walmart
He sewed himself a mask out of scraps of popped balloons
And looked quite frightening
I regret to mention that he acquired more candy than me

The monster under my bed was gone when I woke up
A tuesday of three years past, he did not respond to my jovial
“Good morning”
I have not seen him since
He left a note which I found underneath my pillow
It read
“Prelapsarian. You don’t need me anymore.”