Own worst enemy (dark room)

As our minds mature and our imagination is no longer just mindless imitation, we are told the sky's the limitation. However, to achieve levitation we must first find motivation.

But motivation is comprised of two to many syllables for you see I disguised my inhabitant within the decision to darken my own room.

While others flee from prison walls I create them behind my fractured skull, being tortured by my own behavior is only reassuring my flawless failure

Behind my smile lays a suicidal soul, searching for a loophole, however, I am petrified that I will be laying paralyzed in this pitch black room since I twitch at the slightest of bright light.

While most protest to the dark I can attest to its testimony. For it targets my strained brain which pertains to my bloody forearms, however, it's not setting off any new alarms. because I have become accustomed to the dark for it allows for further discussion about my depression 

I sit here panic-stricken not from the forbin fantasy of my own fatality, but from the creeping feeling of comfort I find in this lifeless room. For it's a paradox you see. I am yearning for the skeleton key to set me free me from my own reality, but my own mind is keeping this vessel from hearing the knocking several feet away.