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Pulling Hard
April 15, 2018
I close my eyes tight
I raise my hands to my curls and pull
Pull with the anger built up
Over days and weeks
Pull with the power of tears
That never reached the surface
I feel each follicle holding tight
Then releasing with all of their might
One by one
Each of my hairs is pulled out
Ripped from my skull
My scalp is throbbing and blank
Then I open my eyes
My fingers graze my head
To find far too much hair
And far too many thoughts
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I used to have an unhealthy anxiety coping mechanism where I would twist the fine hairs behind my ears around my fingers, and pull out other hairs. Luckily, it has gotten better since I got my hair cut shorter.