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Beneath the Current MAG

May 21, 2009
By wingsofadove BRONZE, Sellersville, Pennsylvania
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wingsofadove BRONZE, Sellersville, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments
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Strawberry-stained cheeks
soft yellow waves, gold
in glimmers under the sun.
Toes dipped into frost-tipped,
exhilarating glass
A world fills the eyes.

Crystals on water
green short fur, standing on end
coating the solid slate of the earth,
silently living.
All the sweet claws and
bits of blue-green striped
fins fluttering forth
in an endless world
beneath the current.

© Piper C.

The author's comments:
A haiku poem.
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This article has 14 comments.

NoniDoni GOLD said...
on Jan. 8 2015 at 8:29 pm
NoniDoni GOLD, Calabasas, California
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Thats beautiful! The imagery is amazing! Check out and give feedback on my poem called black and the other one called sunless!
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 19 2014 at 10:38 am
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This is great, you're a wonderful writer. You're really talented. I hope you know, someone thinks you're a treasure and that they look up to you. 
DarkBlueBaby BRONZE said...
on May. 1 2014 at 11:35 pm
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Phenomenal. I'm in awe with your words :)
KylieV SILVER said...
on Aug. 6 2013 at 10:37 pm
KylieV SILVER, Goose Creek, South Carolina
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This poem was very desciptive and eloquent. There are a few good examples of consonance: "... solid state", "bits of blue-green...", "Strawberry stained...", etc. There was also a good example of assonance: "Toes dipped into frost- tipped, exhilarating glass." Great poem!
writefearless SILVER said...
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the imagrey is wonderful :) good job!
asofnow GOLD said...
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i agree with above comment. Despite this. it is an amazing poem :D
Wearing_Westwood GOLD said...
on Jul. 18 2012 at 10:19 am
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five syllables first

then there are seven of them

five, seven, then five

Wearing_Westwood GOLD said...
on Jul. 18 2012 at 10:17 am
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This is not a haiku.

This is free verse poetry.

thank you.

yaispretty said...
on Oct. 31 2011 at 5:32 pm
it was pretty good i wouldnt say it was "beautiful" id say it was pretty and descriptive.
HeatherBee BRONZE said...
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Ooh :DD beautiful awesome description there...
TheOcherousRodentia PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 23 2010 at 9:24 am
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Simply Wondrous! You are so descriptive, and imaginative, I especiall love the way you used capitals to emphasize certain lines ! Keep on writing!
Sabrinahco GOLD said...
on Mar. 3 2010 at 6:30 pm
Sabrinahco GOLD, Jefferson City, Missouri
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This is really good!

I love how many words you used to describe things. The glassy eyes part was my favorite. Keep writing! (:
sasssgirrrl22 PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 12:57 pm
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agree with aleece. amazing descriptionz
Aleece GOLD said...
on Nov. 3 2009 at 2:44 pm
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Wow, this is good. I love it! That's some really intense figurative language!