Wormhole | Teen Ink
  1. Home
  2. Poetry
  3. Haiku
  4. Wormhole

Wormhole

November 7, 2012
By AgentOrange789 GOLD, Friendswood, Texas
More by this author
AgentOrange789 GOLD, Friendswood, Texas
16 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;It&#039;s a saying they have, that a man has a false heart in his mouth for the world to see, another in his breast to show to his special friends and his family, and the real one, the true one, the secret one, which is never known to anyone except to himself alone, hidden only God knows where.&quot;<br /> -James Clavell, &quot;Shogun&quot;

View profile

When matter falls in,
It breaches the shields of space;
Let us ride the flow.

© Jennifer K., Richmond, CA

Post a comment
Submit your own

Similar Articles

Previous Next
Poetry
Hesitation
By Anonymous
Poetry
The Love of Texas
By Princess21 BRONZE
Wolfforth, Texas
Princess21 BRONZE, Wolfforth, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
Friday Night Lights
By Tyce Fisher BRONZE
Wolfforth, Texas
Tyce Fisher BRONZE, Wolfforth, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
Western Cattle Drive
By Aaron Jernigan BRONZE
Lubbock, Texas
Aaron Jernigan BRONZE, Lubbock, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
Saloon Trouble
By Anonymous
Poetry
After Hours
By Makenzi Lea BRONZE
Lubbock, Texas
Makenzi Lea BRONZE, Lubbock, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments
View profile

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2 comments.

the_sparrow SILVER said...
on Nov. 22 2012 at 2:38 am
the_sparrow SILVER, Chicago, Illinois
8 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don&#039;t matter, and those who matter don&#039;t mind.&quot; -Dr. Seuss

View profile
As one who has never been able to master haikus--I'm impressed. I love the way you begin the haiku by describing a phenomenon, and you end it by placing yourself and the reader IN the phenomenon. Your diction is great; the word "breaches" creates a sense of disruption, or...the unexpected. Very nice :)
PaigeStreet PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 20 2012 at 3:24 pm
PaigeStreet PLATINUM, Juneau, Alaska
47 articles 0 photos 218 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Stay golden&quot;<br /> - Johnny (The Outsiders, S. E. Hinton)

View profile
I love the unusual subject! You use an old form to write a new idea, which is great. It also opens up the opportunity for more. Looking at a flower is a self-contained event, but falling into a wormhole invites possibility and tension. My only critique in this piece is the plurality of shields. What is the metaphor of many barriers?  Wouldn't it work just as fine with the simpler metaphor of space being a "sheild" all by itself?