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Cut The Valentine
It's 5 o-clock on the day of V,
here lies, you and me.
You climb on top of me, to tell me,...
You don't love me, anymore.
I don't know what to say.
You told me once i was just right.
When i heard you say that, the cold black heart turned white.
I put you into me, and now oyu must leave.
I could be the boy you want,
Or the girl you need.
It don't matter babe, as long as your pleased....
Before i cut, cut, cut you out of me.
There you go, out into the snow.
It's a great big white world.
Now i get out the bag, the straw, the knife.
That's when i turn out the light.
Just before i cut, cut, cut you out of me.
I don't cry, there's blood all over me
I might die, there's blood all over me.
Long and wide, there's blood all over me.
After i cut,cut,cut,cut you out of me.. on the last day of V
for you, and me "baby"
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This article has 7 comments.
simon cowell feedback--you asked for it!
After glancing at all your poems, this one looked the most interesting to me. I have trouble relating to what it's like to fall in love with a guy lol but I know what it's like to be mad at an ex.
there's a couple of ugly typos here and there but I can ignore them and still appreciate the creativity and the rythm in this poem. I love the lines with "cut cut cut you out of me" and the last stanza has an awesome rythm. I love how it all starts off slow and then picks up speed. Maybe i wouldve liked it if it were longer? But it's fine the way it is.
The second stanza was kind of bland compared to all the other ones... which seemed more flavorful with anger and witty lines and just better more fun-to-read writing. But if you're not a perfectionist, pat yourself on the back for a job very well done :)
