Listen to our story
Our powerful story
Of evil, so very evil
Fat bald men!

Once me and Cheese Man
Were walking down the street
We heard, with our hearing ears,
A mesmerizing beat

Suddenly, over a hill
With the sun setting in back
Came dozens of figures
Ready for attack

They were all obese men
And they held in their arms
Tubas, cocked and loaded
Ready to do harm

Running from the brigade of fat bald people with tubas
Running from the brigade of fat bald people with tubas!

Their fat was hypnotizing
Jiggling everywhere
The man bosoms were flopping
Flying in the air


Their faces were all but gaunt
Twisted and confused
Contorted in a flabby scowl
They wanted us contused

Ask me dear if I have
Been chased by bald fat men
Well my dear if I say “Nay”
It’ll be a lying sin!


Running from the brigade of fat bald people with tubas
Running from the brigade of fat bald people with tubas!
Oh yeah!

And as we were running
On that fateful day
I realized that their fatness
Was symbolic in a way

Deep inside we’re all fat
Tuba playing men
There’s no way that our souls
Are the least bit thin!

Running from the brigade of fat bald people with tubas
Running from the brigade of fat bald people with tubas!

It is a long story
But thanks to a group
Of killer, rabid ferrets
And a big bowl of soup

We no longer must fear
About being pursued by
All those obese people
Who wanted us to die

So now we are now longer
Running down the path
Feeling the obese bald
Tuba playing wrath!

We’re no longer
Running from the brigade of fat bald people with tubas
Running from the brigade of fat bald people with tubas
Running from the brigade of fat bald people with tubas!