Contemplating and Agitating | Teen Ink

Contemplating and Agitating

December 8, 2017
By LewieG SILVER, Mansfield, Texas
LewieG SILVER, Mansfield, Texas
7 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. <br /> <br /> -Nelson Mandela


Contemplating downing a whole bottle of pills to take the edge off

I'm looking hard for ways to bust my heart out.

Don't contest just let me complete the final test.

I dont want to be alive anymore,

I know that's dark but why am I going through the motions

Why am I never really there,

Why am I never aware of it?

I feel my head slipping away, I have lost my golden edge

I was once a hopeful kid

Now the toxicity just numbing my emotions

The autopsy just realizing I'm just messed up all around.

Had more fakes saying I ain't worth the time anymore

But the ones that hurt were the ones that used to be my friends

I feel betrayed by myself,

All because I can't contain the death in me.

I want to see the life god had planned for me,

But in all honesty I cant see the life I have now.

I can't force myself to making it another day anymore.

Its come to the point where I am begging.

Please someone come kill me.

I tried and failed, I'm to scared to do it gracefully.

I would do it sloppy like my life has been,

I am an evil one, I am petrified of me but I can't control me

Someone come save me. Someone come stop me.

I have no regard for my life anymore.

Just yesterday I flicked off a dude and he came to fight me

I almost said, "Why don't you just come and end me?"

"Why don't you offload your tool in me?"

I need help but that isn't for me. The demons are back again,

The same ones I will never beat. I let them take me.

I let them demons kill my soul.

They strangled me utill I was laying as still as a old man on his death bed.


The author's comments:

Honesty in portions, my story of me from the brain of me.


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