Like many high-school students, I received a copy of The Catcher in the Rye. I knew the general consensus that this is a fabulous book that speaks to almost every rebellious teen, but it didn't speak to me at all, maybe because I'm not your typical rebel teen or because I can't stand that Holden is a whiny, immature brat. I don't think there's anything fascinating about a spoiled teenager who is rightfully kicked out of prep school and then wanders around New York City, depressed and childishly upset about everything. What makes the novel even more unbearable is that Holden is repetitive and hypocritical. This novel was one of the worst literary experiences of my life and I suggest everyone avoid it like a plague.

Holden is no average teen. How many 16-year-olds have propositioned a prostitute? I don't imagine myself ever thinking, "I figured if she was a prostitute and all, I could get some practice on her." I'm not ignorant enough to think that teens don't drink, smoke or have sex, but Holden seems to bring it to an unrealistic level. He just doesn't ring true because Salinger tries to play him off as a wannabe drunk and deep thinker at the same time.

If I had to choose one word to describe Holden, it would be whiny. He doesn't like phonies, people clipping their toe nails, people who deface school property with profanity, people who watch movies... I could go on, but I won't. Basically, Holden doesn't like people or anything they do. He says something negative about everyone he comes across, except his dead brother. I'll sum up Holden's view for you so you don't have to read the book: living people bad, dead people good. If you agree, go pick up Catcher in the Rye and have fun connecting with Holden.

Now at this point, you might be wondering about the plot and other characters. Unfortunately, there isn't much of either. The book is pretty much just Holden whining for over 200 pages. It could be much shorter but he repeats himself within pages just in case we have the memory of a goldfish (which is less than 20 seconds, by the way). Holden is the kind of guy you only need to listen to about a third of the time, because, usually, he's just repeating himself while you're wondering if he knows there's some green stuff in his teeth. Trust me, the green stuff would be infinitely more fascinating than anything Holden has to say.

If Holden were only a whiny, repetitive teenager, I could tolerate him. With Holden, though, just about every fault he finds in others, he possesses too. He hates how people are phony, but still makes polite conversation and acts like a perfect socialite most of the time.

If you're still convinced that you should read this alleged classic, borrow it from the library, because most bookstores don't offer money-back guarantees.