The bird | Teen Ink

The bird

November 3, 2022
By funkybunny23 BRONZE, San Francisco, California
funkybunny23 BRONZE, San Francisco, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

 In my set piece I tried to imitate Raymond Carver’s style, write in 3rd person, use symbolism and do a story in a story. My write like Raymond Carver style can be seen throughout the story as well as the 3rd person and story within a story. My symbolism can be seen when I show the bird, looking very beautiful, is actually something that killed the mother. This shows how looks can be deceiving. I chose to write about this topic because I feel like dreams can be almost like a second life, especially considering we spend ⅓ of our life sleeping. I most like how I connected the intro of the story within a story to the end of the inside story.

     

     

     The mother is awakened from the soft, plushy mattress in their California home by the girl’s rapid breathing. She can hear the distressed gulping of air over the roaring air conditioner, blasted at the highest setting to keep them cool. 

     “What happened”, the mother asks the girl. “I had a horrible dream”, the girl replies, “a dream where you died.” “Tell me my dear”, the mother questions in a gentle voice. The girl sips some water, takes a deep breath and begins.


     Screams surround the girl. “Help! Help,” Voices echo. The girl knows that her screams from help will not be answered, they will blend with the thousands of other screams, begging to find their loved ones. As if from thin air, the mother appears to the girl’s aid. “Come quickly,” she said to the girl. 

     As if the girl and the mother wore an invisible shield they dodged the debris, the large lava rocks which had flattened thousands of others. “We will both die,” the girl screamed as a large piece of debris landed dangerously close to her calf. The mother grabbed the girl and carried her with remarkable strength while running. “No, you will survive,” the mother said confidently.

      As if running forever, the girl and the mother reached a small clearing with a mystical pond. “Are we safe?” The girl asked. The mother, stricken with exhaustion, smiles at the girl “I don’t know,” she said. “Drink”, the girl says. As the mother and the girl crawl to the small pond, the cool mud felt like a mask to their aching wounds. Every sip gave them more strength and life, healed their muscles and coated their dry mouths. 

     The girl looked up at the dusty night sky, full of debris and smoke. The screams that had haunted the girl just a few hours ago now felt like a distant memory. A bird, more beautiful than any other, emerged through the clouds. “Look,” the girl pointed, “a bird.” The bird seemed as if it got bigger and bigger, brighter and brighter. 

      The girl closed her eyes as the light became unbearable. In a matter of a few seconds a deafening, ear shattering sound seemed to take over the girl’s mind. She struggled to open her eyes as she had gone temporarily blind. When she managed to open her eyes the girl saw ashes in the place the mother had stood once before. Stunned and shocked, the girl began to cry. She sat there and cried for what seemed like an eternity. Finally the girl rose from the ground and got ready to continue the walk as if nothing happened. The girl sipped some water from the pond and took a deep breath.


     “That’s it, that was the dream” the girl says. The mother nods thoughtfully and after a pause says “It almost sounded like the end of the world, huh?” “Yeah, it did,” the girl replies. “Go back to sleep, it was just a nightmare and I will always protect you my dear.” The girl lies down in the plushy bed, feeling the warmth of her mother by her side. The girl knows that she will be ok, the mother knows that she will always protect the girl. Together they go to sleep, hearing only the sound of each other’s breath as they fall asleep again.


The author's comments:

The Bird in the piece symbolizes how things aren't always what they seem and that looks can be deceiving.


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