Moving. | Teen Ink

Moving.

August 4, 2011
By MidnightFire PLATINUM, Lincoln, Illinois
MidnightFire PLATINUM, Lincoln, Illinois
40 articles 6 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow.'
for my sister: 'when life gives me lemons ... i eat them'
'do not be afraid, be faithful'
'God is not safe, but He's good'


Moving.
Always Moving.
Running.
Always Running.
I thought as I pulled the tux’s jacket over my shoulders. Examining myself in the mirror I saw what I always see: black hair, whether short or shaggy, deep blue eyes that seemed to me held secrets, ones that could kill, ones that I will never tell, and a stern tan face, from a life on the run and in the sun despite always being in the shadows. This is me, I thought, I wander what I used to be like.
Sighing I stepped out into the alley, walking down toward the street, always staying half in the shadows in case I needed to melt into them and disappear. An old beggar fiercely grabbed my loafer, I bared my teeth and growled low and deep and he instantly withdrew. I didn’t have time for this, I was going to have to leave town soon anyway. I’d been staying here and spying on the woman who has been in charge of the hunt for me. At midnight every night she goes into her office to check her email for an update on the hunt. She was also holding a party tonight. That’s how I’m going to get in.
I briskly walked down two blocks and crossed the street, heading for her door. It was guarded by two bailiffs, one holding a clipboard, and the other in charge of the velvet rope. The line had already disappeared inside since the party was already and hour in. So I approached, pulling out a bottle of red wine with a large bright red bow. V
“I’m not on the list.” I informed them. “But I was told if I brought some wine I could come.” I gave them an easygoing smile and watched the wheels turn as they thought this over. “Miss Camamel told me herself, she said that if she forgot to tell you to just remind you that, and I quote, ‘Red wine is best served in a brass punch bowl after 50 years.’ This wine isn’t 50 years old but I did my best.” I had heard her reminding the staff of that before a party last week. Finally the guards nodded and let me in.
The entry hall was huge and brightly decorated, I ignored all this while at the same time absorbed it all. I needed to focus on my mission but still know my surroundings, like that the ‘hand crafted’ head statue of William Shakespeare was a fake, probably light weight but heavy and strong enough to knock someone out if hit on the temple just right. I easily found the stairs, climbed them and kept the bottle in plain sight, that way I could say I was looking for the mistress to give this present to her.
Quickly I located the office and picked the lock, luckily the office was just around a corner that you wouldn’t know existed until you got there. I entered, closed and locked the door behind me, shut the blinds of the windows that lead out front, and got to work. I began searching the drawers and cabinets, not turning on any lights. They held only one thing that interested me: my government file. How did she get this? Finding it was worse than getting caught and forced to suffer a long painful death. It meant that she knew about my past and knew the secret that changed my life forever. I could handle pain, but this meant a fate worse than death.
I swallowed my anxiety and was about to go for the computer when the locks in the doors tumbled. I leaned back on the front of her desk; crossing my arms, I watching her every move with like she was prey, because she was, she was my prey and she had no idea a wolf was right behind her. X
I waited a silent shadow among other shadows. Without turning the light on, she closed the door, locking it behind her. She then turned on the light and turned toward me, fiddling with something in her purse.
“You might want to get better security.” I said low and gruff, smiling my almost wicked smile as she jumped and looked up at me. “The ones you have now are pretty stupid.” V I said as I started to circle her, each circle smaller than the last. “A pretty rich lady like yourself should easily be able to find better security than this. Or is it,” I started to hiss menacingly quite, “that all the good guards out RUINING MY LIFE!” The circle now so small that she was a centimeter away from my shoulder, and the last comment yelling in her face. I could see her fear, her terror. I didn’t like it, but it was needed. The terror had flooded into her eyes the moment she heard my voice and looked up to see me leaning against her desk. “What?” I cooed mockingly, my face an inch from hers as I continued to circle. “Never thought I’d track all the **** back to you?” My voice growing hard again.
“J-Jack. I didn’t expect to see you-”
“Corse you didn’t” I growled. “All your trackers still think I’m halfway across the country. Now I want you to do something for me, I want you to get onto your computer for me.”
“Why should I?” She asked standing up straight though her voice and legs shook in fear. Her defiant made me smile even wickeder, enough to make her cringe.
“This is why.” I took two steps back and pulled a gun out of the small of my back. “And don’t even try one of those help codes. I know all of them already. You try on, I kill you. You disobey, I kill you.”
“You’ve never killed any of my men before, why start now?”
“I’ve never had a reason to before, I knew if I killed one you would send 2 in its place.”
“You always were too clever for your own good.”
“You know I can shoot you and jump out the window and disappear before your guards even hear the bang.”
“You wouldn’t shoot me.”
“Why not?” I growled in her face, holding the barrel under her chin. “Because I work for the government? Because I think of the families of the people after me and understand the grief there would be? Or is it because you think I’m still soft. I may have been kind hearted when you and I first met but the years have changed and I have no one who would shame me for killing you. I’d be doing the world a favor by killing you. Now shut up and log on before I kill you and do it myself.”
She logged on and I tied her up. From there I found nothing useful and decided to unleash a website full of the world’s most deadly computer viruses into the system. I then left the room and went downstairs. Nobody seemed to notice. Then I went to the back yard and put my wine on the drink table. Then the alarm started, the other guests all looked around, confused, but I knew it was for me.
The guards swept through the house and arrived in the back yard, spotting me instantly. I got into a defensive fighting posture, my body a third of a way into a crouch to protect my torso, and my head low to protect my throat. I edged back and easily swung myself onto the 12 foot brick wall. V I gave a mock sault and jumped off, onto the other side of the wall and started off, thinking:
Always Running.
Running.
Always Moving.
Moving.


The author's comments:
I was trying to get a better grip on writing in first person so it was easiest to slip into Jack's mind even if he is of the opposite gender. His darker side shows here.

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This article has 16 comments.


on Mar. 22 2012 at 4:47 pm
MidnightFire PLATINUM, Lincoln, Illinois
40 articles 6 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow.'
for my sister: 'when life gives me lemons ... i eat them'
'do not be afraid, be faithful'
'God is not safe, but He's good'

Thanks :) glad you liked it, I think this is the one I spend several hours in the middle of the night typing up on my phone (:

on Mar. 22 2012 at 8:03 am
alluneedislove3, Alice, Texas
0 articles 5 photos 27 comments
Wow. Very, very good. I really got a sense of his emotion through this, felt like I was him. He was relatable in the same way, mostly when he wondered what he used to be, like I do when I look at not too old pictures. I really enjoyed it. This weekend I will review your other stories.

on Oct. 13 2011 at 4:01 pm
MidnightFire PLATINUM, Lincoln, Illinois
40 articles 6 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow.'
for my sister: 'when life gives me lemons ... i eat them'
'do not be afraid, be faithful'
'God is not safe, but He's good'

Over 100 veiws! :D

on Oct. 5 2011 at 4:17 pm
MidnightFire PLATINUM, Lincoln, Illinois
40 articles 6 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow.'
for my sister: 'when life gives me lemons ... i eat them'
'do not be afraid, be faithful'
'God is not safe, but He's good'

Thanks for the feedback :) All your points make sense an I'll be work to inprove this clip (: thanks again, I'm glad you enjoyed the read

on Oct. 4 2011 at 7:48 pm
TimeForCoffee BRONZE, Chester Springs, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Okay. First off, I have to say--good job. It was exciting, packed with action, and I loved it. You wrote it very well, so congratulations! :D But I have a few things I wanna say:

 

(1) "At midnight every night she goes into her office to check...." Midnight every night. Maybe instead, it could be "Every night, when the clock struck twelve, she goes..." Or "At midnight, she goes..."

(2) "....every night she goes into her office..." Goes. I thought the whole story was written in past tense. When you put "goes" it's present tense. "Every night she went into her office...." The same thing for "That's how I'm going to get in." :) Sorry if I sound harsh, I'm trying to make this quick and short.

(3) "....I ignored all this while at the same time absorbed it all." Just a little bit awkward there, MidnightFire. Just saying.

(4) "....around a corner that you wouldn't know existed until you got there." A bit awkward and it got me somewhat confused. The wording.

(5) "I waited a silent shadow among other shadows." Huh? Do you mean, "I waited, a silent shadows among other shadows."?

(6) "I started to hiss menacingly quite." Do you mean "quite menacingly"?

 

Sorry if it was brief and quick, but I gotta run! :D Otherwise, good job! ^-^


on Sep. 20 2011 at 4:03 pm
MidnightFire PLATINUM, Lincoln, Illinois
40 articles 6 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow.'
for my sister: 'when life gives me lemons ... i eat them'
'do not be afraid, be faithful'
'God is not safe, but He's good'

Thanks :) glad you liked it (:

on Sep. 18 2011 at 6:11 pm
Love.Hate.Passion., Spring Valley, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 356 comments

Favorite Quote:
~Hope. Faith. Love~
~Be proud of who you are.You are all unique in a different way.~
~I WILL NOT fade into oblivion , and become less than
a distant memory.~

Well done!

I love the action in it and it's very well-written :)


on Aug. 15 2011 at 1:12 pm
i love those movies!!!

on Aug. 15 2011 at 10:46 am
MidnightFire PLATINUM, Lincoln, Illinois
40 articles 6 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow.'
for my sister: 'when life gives me lemons ... i eat them'
'do not be afraid, be faithful'
'God is not safe, but He's good'

Strange because I've never seen 'Borne Identity' ... Thanks for reading, glad you liked it :)

Cat-Karuka said...
on Aug. 14 2011 at 9:57 pm
Cat-Karuka, Haymarket, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." -Randy Pausch

Well done. The plot was slightly cliche in a sort of...Borne Identity way, but the unique style of writing you have was so capturing that it compleel made up for it. Very interesting and well written.

on Aug. 13 2011 at 8:40 pm
MidnightFire PLATINUM, Lincoln, Illinois
40 articles 6 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow.'
for my sister: 'when life gives me lemons ... i eat them'
'do not be afraid, be faithful'
'God is not safe, but He's good'

K thanks :)

on Aug. 13 2011 at 7:43 am

Well i hope you figure it out! It's a great story, it needs a little  bit of editing, but not really that much, just like grammar errors probably due to typing  on your phone :P if you need help, i'll be happy to help you edit (and even happier if you give any editing suggestions on any of my stories :) )

 

God bless and happy writing! :P


on Aug. 12 2011 at 11:42 am
MidnightFire PLATINUM, Lincoln, Illinois
40 articles 6 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow.'
for my sister: 'when life gives me lemons ... i eat them'
'do not be afraid, be faithful'
'God is not safe, but He's good'

I'm not sure, I might but I don't know what I'd do

on Aug. 12 2011 at 10:19 am
that's fine. I wondered if it was like some part of the story to be continued later lol. Do you know if you'll continue it?

on Aug. 11 2011 at 6:20 pm
MidnightFire PLATINUM, Lincoln, Illinois
40 articles 6 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow.'
for my sister: 'when life gives me lemons ... i eat them'
'do not be afraid, be faithful'
'God is not safe, but He's good'

Thanks :) Sorry about the random Vs and X, I had originally written this on my phone and when I put it on my computer it had them and I forgot to take them out before submitting :P

on Aug. 11 2011 at 5:02 pm
I love stories like this! You have to continue it!!!