Fire. It surrounds me. I am in the living room. I hear screaming and feel the heat radiating from the flames. I smell an abundance of smoke pouring into my nostrils. I am done for, before I even begin.
I start to feel light-headed and my sight starts to blur. I am trying to move around the fire but it's everywhere. I taste the bits of ashes on my tongue and feel the flames burning my already charred flesh.
I hear the sirens outside and right when I think they’re too late, I hear the thudding of footsteps approaching on what used to be our hardwood floors. I find an opening and run using all of my strength. Beams from the roof begin to fall and as I dodge them with much difficulty, I find it harder and harder to breathe. My last breath escapes me and all I can manage to say is “ Help” before I go silent.

I gasp for breath when I wake up in the ambulance. My vision is still very blurry, so I don’t see much but just enough to tell we just pulled into the hospital emergency wing. As they rush me into the hospital and down the long corridors, I hear one of the paramedics saying “ It’s going to be okay. Its going to be okay.” The problem, she wasn’t talking to me , but herself. She didn’t even notice I was awake. As all these people rush over to me, none of them are noticing I am awake. As my vision returns, I see what they are looking at. Me. I am just lying there. I keep waiting to hear a heartbeat, but I don’t.
“ Get the paddles” someone yelled. At this, I start to worry. Am I dead? Is this what it is like? I see a bright light and it draws me closer. I want to go to wherever it leads but I already knew that I won’t be. I want to be alive again. The decision was already made.
As the paddles were prepping I stare at my lifeless body. Please work. Please work. I tell myself over and over. The next thing I know, I am in my body. I try saying a few things but all I get out are little mumbles of things.
“ Take her to surgery immediately, ” one of the nurses say.


They rush me into a big room with all kinds of tools and one of the women stick a needle into my upper right arm. I don’t remember when I fell asleep but I presume soon after.
I wake up again but this time I am in room. I try to sit up. I feel a stiff, tight pain aching up my back. I hear the nurses alarm go off and a male nurse comes rushing in.
“ I wouldn’t move.” He suggested
“ Where am I? “ I ask a little groggy.
“ You are in the hospital,” he answers unsure about what to do next. “ You have a lot of stitches so I wouldn’t move at the risk of tearing them”
“ Why am I here? Who are you? Whats wrong with me? What happened?” All these questions race through me. Then the biggest question comes up. “ Who am I?”
“ Well, Andi you are in the hospital because of the fire that started. I am Charles Donavan. You have third degree burns and a lot of smoke inhalation in your lungs. We are trying to figure out what happened and you.” I stare at him for a minute.
“ You really don’t remember do you?” he questions.
“ No,” I say in disbelief.
“ Well Andi, you have been through a lot. I mean it would be totally possible if you had memory loss during such a ...traumatic experience.” He exclaims,
“ When can I go home? Where's my family?” I question once again.
“ Oh im sorry child” he begins. “ You have had a great loss today.” Suddenly I feel a surge of sorrow course through me. I know exactly what he means. My family is gone. He lowers his head in prayer.
“ So whats going to happen to me?”
“ I don’t know. If I were you I would live in the moment. Not the future.” Then, he walks out.
Live in the moment? I don’t even know who I am? Or how old I am? What am I supposed to do? Just forget about it all? Like it never happened? I start to feel this rush of anger inside me. It doesn't matter if I am alive on the outside. I am always going to be dead on the inside.
One month later.
I am pacing in the hospital room. Waiting for Charles to come in and tell me my ride is here. I have been at the hospital for a month now. I still have burn marks on my body but, with skin replacement it isn’t as noticeable. My lungs are stable but just for emergencies, I will have to keep an inhaler on me. That's when the man comes.
“ I will take you to your destination this evening,” he says in a dark almost evil-like voice.
“ Great,” I say with much sarcasm. I really don’t want to leave. I don’t want to be in a foster home, I want a normal life. That's probably never going to happen.
We left so fast , I never said bye to Charles who has become my only friend in the last month. As we were walking to the car that was already running, I heard sirens. I felt a weird sensation like I had some type of deja-vu. Maybe I had heard sirens before the fire? I don’t really know much about myself other than I was in a fire. Apparently a bad one.
We entered the car and started to drive off. I took my last glance at the hospital that has felt like home for the last month. I will miss it. After a while we pull into a subdivision. As I examine all the houses we come across. We go to an abrupt stop. After what seemed like an eternity we pull into a driveway. As we get out of the car and the man picks up my bags. I look at the house. I stare at its white paneling, black trim around the windows and the landscape surrounding the house. I walk up the steps and stand at the door. Almost instantaneously the door swings open and a woman with brown hair and blue eyes awaits me there. She looks maybe in her late twenties or early thirties. She had a prominent chin and big dimples when she smiled.
“ Hi there, well aren’t you a little cutie?” She had a thick southern accent. Maybe she was from Tennessee? That is when I realized I was staring at her.
“ Uh, I’m Andi,” I say as a quick recovery
“ I’m Emily, Emily Parker.”
“Well Andi, why don't you come on in and I can show you around?” She motions towards the front door.
“ Okay.”
As she takes me through the house it is small but cute and tidy. As I look at her book collection, I see all kinds of historical novels. From the Bubonic Plague to the Salem witch trials.
“ Sorry I am a bit of a history geek, “ she offers as she watches me look at her collection. We keep walking and she leads me upstairs to a bedroom. “ Uh, this will be your room and mine is right across the hall.” As she starts to descend towards the door the only thing that I could think of to say was thanks.
That night I had a horrible dream. There I was in the fire, but it wasn’t me. I don’t know how I know that, but I just know. She had Light blonde hair and crystal blue eyes just like me and she had my features too but we were different in a way. She was yelling, no screaming for help and was huddled in a dark corner , tears down her face hoping for a savior. The smoke was getting heavier and the fire which seemed like a mile away in the beginning was now so close that she could reach out to grab it if she wanted. The flame began to engulf her and that's when I woke up screaming.
Emily came in a panic. “ Are you okay? What happened?” She was panting heavily and was genuinely concerned.
“ I don’t know, I just had a really bad dream.”
“ Who is Alex?” she asks.
“ I don’t know. Why? Where did you get that name from?”
“ That's the name you were screaming. Their name was Alex?”
I stood in shock realizing at that very moment why the girl looked so familiar. She wasn’t me, but someone who looked like me. I know her. That girl was my twin. Alex.