I’m  not afraid.
I am not afraid.
I can do this. I can totally do this.
F***--
I cant do this.
I'm no hero, I cant save the day.
This is just all some weird dream, and Ill just wake up soon.
I hope.
I’m just some girl from a small town, that's blind in one eye. Nothing special. My dad was murdered when I was 15, definitely not special.

This guy who is with me? Just some hollowed out skeleton, Tom. Now he, he was special. He did more, he knew more, he saw more, than I ever did...than I ever could. Why did that bullet penetrate him and not me? Help. I need help. I need that wise old man that keeps the hero from self doubt. I need Tom. I need him to tell me that my power was special, that my blind eye wasn't just some ugly flaw, that people pointed out too much.

    I could see into the past, I could see what some of the most famous people in the history of the world could see. Let me tell you, Confucius was an a-s-s-h-o-l-e. But now I had to use this dumb eye to save the world? Well, too bad I don’t have many friends, because I can’t save the world. I should’ve never let Tom take me out of that classroom, I was in the middle of watching the Revolutionary War, while my math teacher droned on about the Pythagorean theorem. Please, I saw Pythagoras create the theorem, but that's besides the point. Now I’m sitting in the middle of this room that only has three walls, because the other was knocked down by the Exilers. Tom was to my left and, my mother was to my right. I could hear the New Californians cheering down the street. Happy new Year. Happy 2067.

  The metals boots are marching to a steady metronome beat, like the speed a clock ticks. The Exilers are coming closer and I can feel my heart nearly jumping out of my chest. The only thing I can do is hold my dead mother’s hand and close my eyes.

   The year  was 2020, 3 years before the Exilers became a new branch of government. My grandmother, whom I’ve never met, was beautiful. She was wearing a silky, long, white dress, that was embellished with crystals. This was the day of her wedding. Everyone was so happy. Her friends and family congratulating her and, god, she was so happy.

  Most peoples happy places are when they’re with loved ones, or simply at home. I had neither of those, so my happy place is here, right here, in my grandmother’s wedding. Something I will never get to experience in real time, because of the Wedding Act of 2035. Weddings were outlawed all across the country, and anyone who was caught having a hidden ceremony, was exiled, and ultimately killed. This is the world I lived in.

  2020 had so much more to offer. No posters of government officials staring you in the eye as you waited to get on the bus. No rubble along the sidewalks. No weekly bomb threats. Every house came with promised privacy. Freedom was undoubtedly universal.

  Time moved slower when I went to the past, what would seem like hours, would only be a few minutes in the present.It wasn't really time travel, more of my body still existed in the present but my mind and soul was gone. My father told me I looked asleep went I left. He was the only one who knew about my power, him and Tom, they tried to protect me, that's why they were murdered.  No one else in my family had this “gift”. No one else in the world had this “gift”. And the government wanted to kill me for it. I am a threat. I could potentially take the Exilers down, keyword “potentially”.

   The Exilers were a new-age, militaristic, branch of government, that are really good at convincing congress that the best way to control the people is through force, and taking away free will. Everyone was born with a set of rules, they called it “The Rules of Individual Fate.” According to my rules, I was supposed to be a Matchmaker, have two kids, not go to college, and read only books that involved romance. You could not change or alter these rules in any way, or you could face life in prison. This was just the tip of the iceberg, when it came to the Exilers. They ended up virtually erasing New York City, its not even on the maps. They claimed that it harbored too many criminals, but really it just harbored too much creativity. All the houses looked the same. All the clothes looked the same. All the people looked the same. We had to report our weekly “Fresh Air Intake” to make sure we are being kept under control, and not trying to find anywhere they couldn't watch us. There was nowhere, where they couldn't watch us. The highest paying job wasn't a doctor or a surgeon, it was a psychiatrist. Everyone was depressed. The word “happy” became obsolete in our vocabulary.

   That's why I try to consider myself lucky. Although my parents are currently dead, and I have nowhere to feel completely safe, I can escape. I can escape through time and relive the most amazing moments in history. I can escape my world and visit old worlds, where people could express themselves through art. I can escape through Dali. I can escape through Buddha. I can escape through My grandmother.

   I can’t escape forever though, at some point time will run out, and I have to show Tom that he was wrong. I am not a hero, and I never will be. The Exilers will win, because they always win. They won my father, they won my mother, and they won Tom. They all died because of me, and I can’t avenge them.

  I open my eyes and I see a whole army of men dressed in black, leather, trench coats in front of me. One seems to stand out because of his red beret, and his assortment of badges on his coat. He reaches his hand out as if he wants to help me up, his other hand is holding a gun. Before I could reach for his hand he hits me across the face with his pistol. I can feel the blood running out of my nose and down my lips. The strange man looks back and laughs with his friends.
  “You're the one they call Matilda, am I correct?” I nod my head yes. He proceeds to kick me in the stomach, with his steel toed boots. It feels like organs are rearranged.
  “You can go into to the past?” He’s smiling, I know hes a general for the army of Exilers behind him. I know because hes smiling. Three men then approached and repeatedly started punching me. Each punch was immediately followed by a “HARDER!” blurted out by another soldier.
  When they all back away with bloodstained knuckles and smiles spread across their faces. The general says to them,
“Do you think if we bring her head back to the chief, it will be just as good?” I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
  His left hand was holding a gun. His left hand was pointed at my head. I try and spit out all the blood that was sitting in my mouth, so I could speak, so I could try and be the hero.
  “Why-- Why are you doing this?” I ask
  “Because you are a threat to our authority!” He shouts. My ears are so swollen by the hits that I could only hear him when he shouted.
  “I'm not talking about me, I’m talking about everything. Why did you blame a peaceful world, for such hateful crimes?”
  “You can see into the past, but you are still blind. The world was full of unimaginable things. Out of all people I thought you would know.”
  “But you can still save it, without using force or death. Let me help you!”
  “Little girl, there is no saving a world that's already corrupt, there is only limiting it. You can not shake your finger at a problem child and expect him to be perfect, you must limit his nefariousness by taking away his virtues. You can not help us.”
  “Please-- ple--” His gun was branding my forehead.

  “There is no altering your fate, it has already been written.” Right then, in that moment, I knew what was going to happen. His finger was going to pull back on the trigger, which will release a chain reaction, and will result in a bullet in my head. I held my breath and closed my eyes, everything came into perspective. All the weight was lifted off my shoulders and I knew I was going to see my parents, and Tom. I was actually excited.

  “Any last words, Matilda?”

When somebody says that to you, your mind goes blank with all the knowledge it carried. The only thing I could think of is Marie Antoinette. On her way to the guillotine she stepped on her executioner’s foot and said,
  “Pardonnez-moi, monsieur”
   Bang.

  I open my eyes, or what’s left of them, to see myself at a wedding, and I’m wearing a beautiful, white, dress. My dad is waiting to walk me down the aisle and I see Tom, my mother, and my grandmother in the audience. Everyone is standing around me and they are congratulating me. Everyone is so happy. I am so happy.