I remember the day I was taken like it was yesterday. It was the day my life had changed forever. I was in the bank talking to my friends when they came in. The robbers came in wearing masks and carrying automatic guns. They went right to the clerk and demanded she open the vault. She did as they said and then they threw her aside. The thieves started pouring my friends and I into bags. When they felt satisfied with what they had, they took off with us in the bags. We were thrown into the back of the robbers getaway cars as they sped down the highway. They were in the clear. No cops trailing them and no sirens to be heard.
My name is Bill. I am a one dollar bill and I was born in the Pennsylvania mint in 1983. I  had been in relaxing in the Chase bank in Brooklyn, New York for quite some time until that day. I must have been there least five or six years. You see for us dollar bills, being in a bank is living the dream because of all the great conditions there. We get to talk to all of our friends while being kept away from humans for the most part. We’re laid out flat and kept in a nice cool room. Ahhh it really is the dream. What I would do to get back there. I miss all my buddies and all those late night games we played. I was really loving life until that unfortunate day. I was taken from my home by those terrible people with no regard for what I thought. In a matter of minutes my life had been flipped upside down. The worst part about all of this was that I couldn’t do anything about.
When the robbers had finally stopped the car, they got out and dropped the bags of money onto the floor. They opened my bag and when I looked out I could tell we were in what looked like an abandoned factory. There was a very shady atmosphere about this place and I had the feeling something bad was about to happen. I then noticed the robbers weren’t alone in the factory. The four burglars were joined by five armed men dressed in baggy clothing holding a few brief cases. I came to the conclusion that this was a drug deal, as it had not been the first one I had experienced. Upon opening my bag, one thief said, “Look, it’s all here. We kept our end of the deal, what about you?”
“We never disappoint,” one of the armed men replied, “It’s all here and all authentic. Four suitcases of cocaine for twenty thousand dollars. Now let’s get this over with.” The two sides swapped the drugs for money and seemed satisfied with their transaction. When the deal was done the thieves turned around to get back into their cars, and that’s when things got real ugly real fast. The drug dealers had opened fire and didn’t waste any time once they started shooting. The four robbers were killed in a matter of seconds. The drug dealers then quickly picked up all of the suitcases and bags, threw them into the trunk of their car, and took off. Once again I was in the backseat of a car having no clue where I was headed.
The next few days were some of the worst of my life. The drug dealers took us to these loud night clubs where they partied until the sun came up. I got no sleep that week and had a terrible paper-ache. I’ll never forget how disgusting it was one night when some guy rolled me up and used me to snort cocaine. I cringe just thinking about that memory. At the club, my friends and I got no respect as we were tossed into the air  by the drug dealers so they can show off their wealth. After being thrown around I landed on the floor and was stepped on countless times. I was picked up at the end of one night by some man. He took me straight to a small store across the street from the club and used me to buy a pack of cigarettes. Getting into that cash register after that horrific week felt incredible. I knew I wasn’t going to last there long, but the store was about to close up so I knew I was at least going to stay the night. I finally was out of the club and was able to catch up on some sleep.
I remember waking the next morning feeling much better than I had all week. I ended up staying in that register for a few days until I was handed over as change to a man named Richard Collins. Now Richard Collins is no ordinary man. When I was handed to him, I heard the man behind the counter ask in disbelief, “Are you really Richard Collins the billionaire and former president of the United States? Wow, I never thought someone so famous would come to my tiny store.”
“Well consider it your lucky day,” Collins replied. “I’m in town to shoot a commercial for my charity. I haven’t eaten anything yet today so I thought I’d grab something here.” After Collins agreed to take a picture with the cashier, he went on his way with me now in his wallet. I couldn’t believe I actually belonged to the famous Richard Collins.
Later that day at the commercial shoot, the most unbelievable thing happened to me. I was actually used in the commercial! That’s right, I was in it. In a part of the commercial Richard had to hold up a five dollar bill and say something like “All it takes is five dollars to save a life.”
When he reached into his wallet to find a five dollar bill he could use, he somehow chose me to be in the commercial. He held me up right in front of the camera for the whole world to see. I had never felt so special in my life. Oh man, the guys back at the bank would love to hear this story.
A week after my fifteen minutes of fame with Richard Collins, he used me to pay for a shirt in the mall and then I was given as change to a woman buying a pair of pants. After spending a couple days in this woman’s wallet, I found myself in an airport boarding a plane to California. Going to California meant I would be leaving New York and my chances of returning back to the Chase bank were slipping away. About a minute into the flight something far worse than anything I could have ever imagined happened. An explosion went off. The plane snapped in half and people started flying out. I had fallen out of the woman’s wallet and began a free-fall headed towards the ocean. I remember thinking this was the end. This is how I go out. I was aimed straight to the ocean until out of no where, the wind picked up and dragged me all the way back to land. Finally after around ten minutes of floating in the air I was about to make it back down to Earth. As I was bracing for impact on the sidewalk I was snatched out of the air by what seemed like a high school boy. He shoved me in his pocket and proceeded on his way. I guess its true what they say, miracle really do happen.
The following day, my assumption turned out to be true, he was a high school student at the Yeshivah of Flatbush. After waking up early the student stuffed me in his pocket and walked to school. By about noon, I was taken out of his pocket and inserted into a vending machine. It’s things like this vending that make me miss the bank so much. Being stuck in this machine makes us money feel claustrophobic. We’re all cramped up with other dirty bills and it’s so dark you can’t see a thing. It’s like money prison. I had been locked in the vending machine for only a few hours until something spectacular occurred. All of the sudden the bills began spurting out of the machine. There must have been a malfunction as the money was flying everywhere. We were all free. Students came running to the scene and grabbed all the money they can. One kid grabbed me and once again I was shoved into a pocket.
I didn’t stay in that pocket for long though. On the student’s way home I had slipped out of his pocket without him realizing and landed on the sidewalk. That’s when the rain began. It came down slowly at first but then picked up in hurry. I was getting soaked as the rain came in a downpour. I was being tossed around by the wind and just then I saw what I was headed for. I was being taken directly towards the sewer. If I fell down there my life was essentially over. No one would ever see me again. I was inches away. It seemed as though I would meet my inevitable fate. All hope seemed lost when suddenly I was saved. A homeless man had grabbed me right before I went down. I wanted to thank him but I knew that was impossible. I felt terrible that I couldn’t tell him how happy I was that he saved me. After the man picked me up, he went to a gas station to take cover from the rain.. He studied me carefully before handing me over to the cashier and asking, “Can I buy a lottery ticket?” The cashier handed the man a ticket and a pen. He filled out the card as I was placed in to the register.
I stayed in that register for what felt like two weeks. Then one day, the homeless man ran back in to the gas station very excited and shouted, “I won! I won! That five dollar bill won me the lottery.” He turned towards the cashier and asked, “Is it still here? I used the serial number of that five dollar bill as the lottery numbers and it won. Can I see if it’s still here? I got to have it back.” The cashier let the man check and he jumped up and down in joy when he saw I was still there. He swapped five dollar bills and I felt so proud to have won him the lottery. I had found a way to repay him for saving my life in a way I never imagined.
In the following weeks, the man, whose name I learned was Todd Jones, bought a house and started a new life. I also learned that the reason he wanted to get me back was so that I can be the first bill he deposited in his new bank account. Things seemed too good to be true when he walked into the Chase bank in Brooklyn. All this time I had been hoping to make it back and now I was finally here.  It’s been quite a journey, but I’m happy to be home.