A man entered his house, he wasn’t short nor tall. He did enter though looking as if he’d had a ball.

“My oh my dear you look delighted,” his wife said wishing she’d been invited

“Well, my sweet I was just headed to work when suddenly I met this big mean jerk! Well, he wasn’t a jerk, but he was quite strange. When I first met the man I thought he was deranged.” The man said to his wife now looking flustered. The only thing that brought him back to earth, was the sweet smell of custard. 

“What happened my love?” His wife said with a ponder. “What you're saying truly does make me wonder.”

“Well, he was a short stout fellow, who was very determined. He followed me here, there, and everywhere while spewing a sermon.” The man recalled the story of his day to his wife he cherished. While telling the story he now relished. “On a plane and on a boat, he followed through. On a train and in a moat, he was to ensue.” This way and that the man was to follow, though rude to the follower, he continued to holler. “Though it may seem strange I did learn a lesson. I learned I shouldn’t be so quick to aggression. The man's name was Sam and follow me he did. He would find and ask me the same question no matter where I hid.”

His wife now confused as you the reader are probably as well. The story only gets worse from here, that I can tell. “Well, sweetheart I’m not sure if I get what you mean. What was Sam asking if I could be so keen?”

His wife’s question was a good one, what we’ve all been asking. What was it that to our antagonist, Sam was tasking? 

“Well he asked me to eat, what else would it be... but after that breakfast you made of course he shouldn’t have asked me!”

“Oh dear, oh my, how silly you are. If only you were more open he wouldn’t have had to chase you that far.”

The man took to his lazy boy with a deep sigh of relief. “Tell me, darling, are you almost done cooking the beef?”

With a flick of the stove and the creek of the fridge. “I thought I’d change up dinner, if only a smidge”

“Oh I wouldn’t mind that, so what’s on the menu?”

“A new dish I found at the market, it was a hit at this new venue!”

He was delighted to hear that it was something to please. After the day he’d been through, he needed his stomach at ease. But he jolted out of his seat when he heard his wife cry out “DAMN!” “What’s wrong my dear wife?”

“We don’t have enough green food dye... for the eggs and ham.”