I was enjoying an ice cold glass of lemonade on my balcony when it happened. Just lounging on my outdoor couch, soaking in the rays and feeling the cool coastal breeze. CRASH. Jumping up, I almost threw myself over the railing after I discovered the source of the ruckus. Tiffany. 

“Well, if it isn’t little Scarlet, all grown up!” she sauntered over to where I lay, leaving the shattered remains of my glass table behind her. She had recovered fast after landing on it, of course, entirely ignoring the destruction she had just wrought. Typical. 

“You’re barely fifty years older than me, Tiffany, it’s hardly anything to gloat about.” I set down my glass on the small table beside me, pulling down my sunglasses to take in her appearance. She looked almost the same as the last time I saw her some 200-odd years ago. Her silky dark hair flowed down to her waist, although now with a noticeable green streak. In this century it seemed that she was going for a more casual look, sporting a large, loose green knitted sweater and hot pink flowy pants. 

“Well, Scar, a lot happened between 1300 and 1200 BC! I’m really wise beyond your years.” She waved her hand as if dismissing any retort. 

“I don’t think that’s how the expression goes,” I said, pushing my glasses back up onto my face and leaning back down into my chair. I repositioned my hold on the tanning foil. 

“Details, darling!” she said, collapsing onto the edge of my seat. I scowled. 

“I see you haven’t matured a bit, Tiffany. I’m not surprised, but maybe I am a little disappointed. I would’ve thought you’d love to take advantage of the 1980s,” I said, returning my gaze to the sky. 

“It’s not my fault you live as such a bore,” she groaned, “and I AM taking advantage of the 80s. Why do you think I’m so accurately and modernly dressed?” She hopped up and twirled, showing off the (really quite average) outfit. 

“And yet you still sound downright archaic, my love. Maybe work on that.” I said.

“You are so mean, Scar,” she huffed. “I have spent so so so much time in Southern California, trying to sound like a local! How come it’s okay for you to sound archaic and not me, hmm? Hypocrisy much?” 

I let out an airy laugh. “Well, most mortals just assume that I’m just a stuffy lawyer, and that all stuffy lawyers are obnoxiously formal. And I wouldn’t even say I’m at the same degree of formality I was last decade–they’re really starting to rub off on me, you know.” 

“Ugh,” said Tiffany, “You are so attached to humans it's disgusting.” 

“And yet you’re the one exploring all around the world! I bet you’ve seen triple the amount of mortals than I have in the past century.”

“What about it? I love to travel.” She shifted to face me. “Now, I’m sure you’ve realized I’m not here on a social call.”

I sighed from the deepest part of my chest. “I’m hurt. Here I’d thought you might actually be here for me at least once.” 

She giggled. “You wish! It’s just some minor immortal council business. You know the drill.” 

“And why are you delivering the news? They could’ve faxed me,” I said. 

“As if you ever go to the meetings. No, they sent me because it’s serious council business. Like, ‘world ending’ council business,” she replied. 

“Oh?” 

“Don’t ‘oh’ me. Please, you have the audacity to call me immature when you’ve been out here avoiding your council duties since, like, basically it’s conception. They’re gonna revoke your club card if you keep this up another couple centuries.” 

I laughed. “Just tell me what the tragedy is. I don’t have all day.”

“Armageddon.” 

“Armageddon?” 

“Yep.” 

“And you’re sure?” I leaned forward slightly, giving her an imploring look.

She gave an affirmative noise. I finally raised myself up from the chair and looked out over the balcony. New York City was fascinating to me, especially now. It never seemed to stop moving and growing. Changing. In a way I never could.

“Well,” I said, pushing my elbows over the edge of the railing, “Give me the debrief, then, love.”