Saltines Sixteen | Teen Ink

Saltines Sixteen

September 17, 2022
By TheSamOnly_o7 SILVER, Brookfield, Wisconsin
TheSamOnly_o7 SILVER, Brookfield, Wisconsin
8 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I’m at Moscow, Russia 1944, Emily Streckel walked In with Elon Musks Son a few minutes behind, holding her vanilla sweet cream iced nitro cold brew, a 15.5 inch smallmouth bass that weighed 7 pounds flew overhead with Winston Churchill. Normally this would be strange, but Moscow, Russia 1944 was snow hailing. Emily Streckel was wearing hockey scates, which explains why it took forever in a day for her to get here. She doesn’t know it but when she’s gone I sit and drink her perfume. Sometimes I hallucinate, but when I saw Jack White riding a griffin, I knew that I was at risk of getting pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis as Jack White only rides griffins when a volcano goes off, merely a weekly occurrence. I exclaimed “my dog has herpes” and Emily replied “I should head inside before I get pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.” I told her I planned on going into woodworking as a career but I thought to myself I should really chose something more stable like economics. All of a sudden there was a knock on the door, “Oh, that’s X Æ A-12 Musk” Emily explained. When I answered the door and said “Wassup G, I finna do homework no cap.” he replied “on god I need help with my math for real no cap, I finna mess up that teach.” He walked in but didn’t take off his ED028C shoes. I swore “I don’t have 2848 minutes to clean up your mess on god for real no cap G” as I drank my leche but Emily Streckel said “I do, so we should go get over easy eggs on slightly too burnt toast where Jack White, His pet Griffin, the 7 pound 15.5 inch smallmouth bass and his pet, Winston Churchill work. What’s that place’s name called again?” I replied, you’re silly, we’re already at Moscow, Russia in 1944, but you’re right, they have the best over easy eggs on slightly too burnt toast here”


The author's comments:

This is meant to be similar to Black Nikes by Harryette Mullen


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