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- Summer Guide
- College Guide
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Personal Experience
- Travel & Culture
- Current Events / Politics
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
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[Note: Between every line, the camera cuts to a different person. Two people are not in the same shot at the same time unless otherwise specified. These shots alternate between WS, MS, and MCU, at the director's digression.]
RYAN: (steps up to frame)Ryan here, star of Action-Tastic 3: Revenge of the baby puncher; I'd like to assure you that no babies were harmed in the making of this film.
NATE: (Brandishing a baby doll) See? It's fake.
ELLY: Punching real babies is a crime.
LAURA: So we at Really Cheesy Productions would like to remind you:
ALL IN UNISON: Never ever punch a baby.
RYAN: Not even a gay baby!
LAURA: Especially not a gay baby!
ELLY: Gay babies are our future.
NATE: They have an evil plot to overthrow us all!
LAURA: That's not actually true.
RYAN: When you feel like directing your anger at a baby, take a deep breath and direct it at cute little animals instead.
NATE: Like this cat! (Nate is holding a cat)
[Cat is flung violently over LAURA and ELLY's horrified heads.]
ELLY: Um, no cats were harmed in the making of this feature?
LAURA:...yeah. It's gonna be okay, right?
[Technical Difficulty bars flash onto screen.]