I was normal. We actually less than normal, I was, well I really don’t know, Isabella. That’s the one thing I did know. I was Isabella, a little no one, in a little no one town. Everybody called me “that girl”. No one knew my name. No one. I sat alone everywhere. In the back of the Science room, I never had a partner. At the dinner table, my mom was a divorced and a work-alcoholic. I was an only child, and I hated to be alone.
I inhaled as I walk the hall. I finally exhaled when I reached my 1st period. I inhale and exhale, all day from class to class. A Loner among these halls makes me miserable. I’ve known most these kids since 1st grade, some even farther back. I yearn for someone to see me, for someone to just notice me.
This feeling is like being stabbed in the heart, and someone twisting the knife and yanking it out. The ordeal of never being notice. The agony of never feeling love. The torment of seeing those smiling faces and giggling voices. For this place is my personal prison.
I cry for someone, anyone to just look at me. See that I need to be held and loved. Notice that when my head is down, I’m not sleeping, no I’m crying. My eyes tear up so much they’ve turned a red, that seems to never leave. I cry for happiness, love, desire. I cry for a friend, just one. On my birthday I wish for one. On Christmas I wish for one. On New Years I make a goal to make one.
Then something happens, something amazing. My red eyes catch this amicable light. Bright and warm. The sense of love, lingers on this light. Then I find out who the light is. Then I put my hand to my chest, my heart is beating crazy. It beats in double time now, summer-salting, dancing for pure joy. The man in front of me is, as you know him, Jesus. But when I see him, I call him savior, friend, father. He grabs me into his embrace and says, “I love you daughter”. He loves me. Isabella. Me. A Simple Loner.