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Narrator: The gods are in a burning rage at Mount Olympus. Down below on earth, man is burning down the sacred forests, and slaughtering each other in hatred. The wicked Titan Prometheus has given human creatures fire, and Zeus vowed to take revenge.
Narrator: Woman did not exist. Zeus had Hephaestus mold her out of the earth, and had used Aphrodite as a model. Her name was Pandora. Every god contributed something to perfect her: Aphrodite beauty, Hermes persuasion, Apollo music, and most importantly, Hera gave her the gift of curiosity!
Narrator: Zeus sent her to Prometheus and his brother, to punish them for stealing fire from heaven and the human race for accepting the gift.
[ACT 1, SCENE 1]
(Prometheus and Epimetheus’ clay house)
Prometheus: Hey, Epimetheus! Someone’s here to see you! It’s Zeus and some guy with long hair!
Hermes: I HEARD THAT! This is not a man. She is a woman—made in our image. And she’s NOT for you! Get your brother!
Prometheus: Yes, sir.
Epimetheus: Whoa! What’s Aphrodite doing at our house?
Pandora: Wow. I’m flattered.
Hermes: Epimetheus, meet your new wife. What do you think of her?
Epimetheus: Wh-wh-at? For real?
Hermes: HECK YEAH! The wedding will be tomorrow at Mount Olympus, in our palace. See you then.
Prometheus: Wow. You’re lucky! Hey Pandeera! That’s your name, right?
Pandora: It’s Pandora. Wow. Am I really going to live in this house? It’s clay.
Epimetheus: Errr… no. We’ll move somewhere into the forest.
All: I CAN’T WAIT!
Pandora: well, I’d better getting back to Mount Olympus to get ready for tomorrow!
Prometheus and Epimetheus: Bye!!
Prometheus: But seriously, Epimetheus, you have to be careful with Zeus and his presents. You know we’re still on his bad side for stealing the fire.
Epimetheus: Oh, she’s just a nice girl. She can’t do much harm to anyone.
[Act 1, Scene 2]
(Country club, Mount Olympus)
Narrator: The wedding reception after Pandora and Epimetheus’ marriage in heaven
Epimetheus: Let’s open the presents!
Narrator: The party is happy and uninteresting…until…
Pandora: Let’s! Oooh, a veil! How lovely! Flowers! Dresses! But hey, what’s this? There’s another box in this box!—
Hermes: DON’T OPEN THAT!
Pandora: Why not? It’s so pretty…with so many pictures…I wonder what’s inside! Did Hephaestus make this?
Hermes: Yes, just for you. But you MUST NOT open it, or you’ll deeply regret it.
Narrator: Pandora was annoyed, but not disappointed. But she wanted to open it so much! If it was MY wedding gift, I'd open it right away!
[Act 2, scene 1]
(Epimetheus’ new house in the woods)
Narrator: Epimetheus and Pandora lead a happy life in their new home. But Epimetheus notices Pandora seems to be upset about something.
Epimetheus: Hey, what’s wrong? Aren’t you happy that we’re married?
Pandora: Of course I’m happy. But Hermes gave me this pretty box for a present and he isn’t letting me open it!
Epimetheus: What nerve! I’ll go talk to him. But in the meantime, don’t open it.
Pandora: Hmmm… maybe they’re playing a prank on me. Who in the world gives someone a shiny wedding gift that they can’t open? Talk about torture! Hermes was probably kidding when told me never to open it, he’s such a trickster!
No, I’ll hide it. I should listen to the gods and stay away from trouble.
Narrator: Pandora buries the box in Epimetheus’ cabbage patch. She rolls a huge boulder on top of it and is exhausted. Epimetheus returns from Mount Olympus to find a huge rock in his garden and Pandora sleeping in the garden.
Epimetheus: Honey, what’s wrong? How did that rock get over here? Is it a meteoroid?
Pandora: No, I just thought our yard would look better with it. What do you think?
Epimetheus: Actually, it looks pretty good! I’ll keep it like that.
[Act 2, scene 2]
Narrator: Night falls. Epimetheus falls fast asleep, disregarding all his troubles. However, Pandora can’t close her eyes. The box is haunting her.
Pandora: Oh, what’s wrong with me? Did Zeus make me an insomniac?!
Narrator: Pandora creeps out of bed and walks outside the house. The moon eerily shines on the white boulder.
Pandora (gasps): Oh, that box. I don’t care what Hermes said. I’m opening it!
Narrator: With inhuman strength, Pandora heaves the rock to the side. In a mad frenzy, she flings dirt into the sky until she finds the golden box glinting in the moonlight.
Pandora: At last!
Narrator: She slowly slipped off the cover…
Pandora: Just a little peek…
Narrator: Suddenly, she heard swarming and rustling inside and a foul smell filled the air. In horror she hastily replaced the cover.
Pandora: Uh-oh. Bad move.
Narrator: alas it was too late! The evil had been unleashed! A multitude of pestilence was spewed from the box.
Pandora: Oh, no! No!
Narrator: All the plagues and sorrows known to humanity were released once Pandora opened the box. Old Age, Sickness, Insanity, Passion, Greed, Crime, Death, Theft, Lies, Jealousy, Famine, the list went on and on...every evil, that until then had been trapped inside the gift from the gods, was now loosed upon the earth.
Pandora: Oh, my wretched curiosity! I have brought forth the ruination of mankind! What have I done?
Narrator: Woe was Pandora! The poor girl was terror-stricken at what she had caused, this unexpected eruption of evil. But just as she thought all was lost, something was still in the box.
Pandora: What’s this?
Narrator: It was hope. Deep down inside the hateful box was the only thing that has sustained humanity in times of sorrow, pain and misery: hope. The endless hope that things will soon get better, that keeps us going to this very day, our sole comfort in times of misfortune.
But hey, before you go blaming all of our ills on poor Pandora consider the following question: Would you have been disciplined enough to keep the box shut, or would you, like Pandora, have let your curiosity get the best of you?