For He Has Sinned | Teen Ink

For He Has Sinned

October 7, 2010
By Kaity-Bear95 GOLD, Cave Junction, Oregon
Kaity-Bear95 GOLD, Cave Junction, Oregon
12 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love me or hate me, you're still thinking about me.

A world, once bright, seemed suddenly leached of color. But for the blood red slashes at the edge of his vision, the young man was in a world of gray.

The lake stretches on, seeming to never end. Staring across its surface, he feels surrounded. This is his purgatory, for he has sinned. In this world of gray, blood red drips from his hands.

As he kneels at the edge of this endless expanse, the water seems to be bottomless. Looking up at the trees that surround his purgatory, effectively trapping him here, they seem like jagged knifes, glistening black, stabbing up at the dull sky.

Dipping his blood-covered hands into the water, he hopes to cleanse himself of this painful reminder. Yet, as he dips his hands into the silvery water.. it seems to bubble like acid and turn rotten black. He stumbles back several feet, his hands still stained.

"What have I done?!" he screams, dropping to his knees in the needle-sharp grass that seems eager to stab through his flesh. The lake is a monster: the trees - jagged teeth - wanting to tear, the water - a carnivorous mouth - wide in hunger. Its edges reach out for him, lapping at him, seeking to pull him in, to devour him. Perhaps, that would be sweet relief. For this is his purgatory.

Purgatory. What a strange word... the place between Heaven and Hell. A place to wander.... alone, with only the heavy burden of the dreaded knowledge of what you have done.

Screams and manic laughter echo in his ears as he turns his eyes up to the sky. Inhuman... so painful are the sounds. Sobbing, he crawls on hands and knees through the grass, towards the edge of the lake.

Just at the edge of the gaping mouth lay a lifeless form, bright in color against the gray. Tendrils of blood red and black sway as the water laps at the form with its hungry tongue.

"No, no..." he sobs, pulling the body into his arms. "Together forever, I promise... I promise," he cries, stroking the golden blond hair of the girl he holds as they lay in the water. "I promise... I promise," he chants, voice fading, as he holds her and closes his eyes, awaiting the sweet relief of death.

The author's comments:
A creative writing class assignment.


Describe a lake as seen by a young man who has just murdered someone.

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This article has 1 comment.

on Oct. 11 2010 at 4:55 pm
booknerd BRONZE, Robinson, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Reality is merely an illusion. Albeit a very persistant one."


This was really awesome!!! I loved the descriptions!!!! =) Could you look at some of my work?